This Really Happened
After seeing the Kardashian's in the audience of Dancing With The Stars (do not fucking ask WHY I'm watching this AND have crushes on J.R. Martinez and David Arquette-LIKE WHEN did he become sexy. WTF is happening to me???????????????)- so my mom sees them Kard-ASS-hians and says.....
Mom: That's it. You're broke and in your 30's, get on Twitter and find out who you have to sleep with to get rich and famous!
Me: Excuse me?
Mom: Find out who you have to sleep with to get famous. That Kardashian whore slept with Ray J! RAY J!
Me: I know! It is too late to bring up this angst...
Mom: Here I have a beautiful daughter who's camera friendly, you're talented! You're also broke. Time to get rich- go sleep with someone. I give you my permission.
Me: I'm gonna go....not sleep with someone.
....honestly, I have given the 'puttin' the nan on Twitter' some thought, but if Kim could get famous from Ray J, what low life would I have to bone??? AHHHHHHH! One of them Jersey Shore assholes? Ja Rule???
The main thing is my mom has given up on me and thinks whoring is the way to go. *sigh*
Mom: That's it. You're broke and in your 30's, get on Twitter and find out who you have to sleep with to get rich and famous!
Me: Excuse me?
Mom: Find out who you have to sleep with to get famous. That Kardashian whore slept with Ray J! RAY J!
Me: I know! It is too late to bring up this angst...
Mom: Here I have a beautiful daughter who's camera friendly, you're talented! You're also broke. Time to get rich- go sleep with someone. I give you my permission.
Me: I'm gonna go....not sleep with someone.
....honestly, I have given the 'puttin' the nan on Twitter' some thought, but if Kim could get famous from Ray J, what low life would I have to bone??? AHHHHHHH! One of them Jersey Shore assholes? Ja Rule???
The main thing is my mom has given up on me and thinks whoring is the way to go. *sigh*
Don't worry, my mom has given me the same green light.
ReplyDeletenice. moms are AWESOME!!! #sarcasm
ReplyDelete