I Am A Horrible Person

Admittedly, when I heard Jesse Williams and his wife were getting a divorce I got excited because I feel there is a real chance for he and I to make it happen.
Truly, I am not happy at the demise of their relationship....but because I follow a certain moral code, I know that if he is single I am definitely HOPPING ALL UP ON THAT.

I immediately started making plans for the summer of our chance encounter that will lead to about a 4-10 yr relationship.
First, I have to reflect on my wokeness. 'Am I at my FULL wokeness?'  'Is there a way to up my wokeness?'  Then I would start reading more than I already do.  I would also have to get back into sports- back in the day I was a sportshead...but with all the rapists, abusers, blatant racism...I became over it.  Now, I only watch games for hot dudes- in case I decide to date one before my last few 'moist' years run out and I want to be on Basketball Wives or something.
Jesse is WAY into sports (I think he has a podcast), so I would have to at least learn to watch the games and not just look for dick swangin' in basketball shorts.
We would have a relationship where people would see us out and wanna be part of it...cuz we're cool, but then I would be doing my own thing while he was giving speeches and hanging with Maxine Waters- actually, I wanna hang with Maxine too!  What I am saying is, you wouldn't be sick of us...but you would want to hang out with us all the time.
I have also taken into account that I will have to get along with his ex-wife/ mother of his children, luckily I am an adult and not a trifling Instagram/reality TV ho.
We will be bi-coastal though we won't live together.  Though we'll have a 'Kurt Russell/ Goldie Hawn' love thing happening, I don't see us living together.  I like my space...and it will keep the 'ship FRESH.
This natural hair journey has been HECTIC for me, so I understand that I will have to shell out extra dollars to have my hair professionally done every week.  The photo ops will be endless- I mean he is FOINE, I am FOINE...we are both lightskinned with freckles, we both have style...but the hair definitely has to be on point.  (Black) Twitter will have me on my '13 Reasons Why' and I cannot have that.

So as you can see I have put some serious thought into this. THEN I hear he has already been hanging around this trick Minka Kelly...
I let that distract me for a moment, but she is no match for my plans!