Some Things I Learned This (Hurricane) Weekend

Friday: It’s cool that I don’t eat fast food like McDonalds AT ALL…except when I’ve gone to Happy Hour and drank Tanqueray n’ tonic. Got myself a southern chicken sammich- I think I drooled when I asked the cashier what was on it and he said: butter and pickles…which sound GROSS, but were perfection! Now, I did think about getting the filet o’fish because of the commercials, but I know I'm not built for that kinda damage. The Mickey D’s worked like a charm and I had no after effects on Saturday. HOLLA.

Saturday: No matter WHAT, watch the weather report. I thought it was simply going to rain-I DID NOT know it was going to HURRICANE. That I would feel like the wind was going to carry me to a place where Xzibit makes over kittens and milkshakes are the equivalent of a dozen roses. Instead, I was in Fort Greene wondering WHY? I made up for it by having red velvet cake.

-Looking up, or just being aware that you’re walking by the place you really want to go into is essential. See Moo and I were in Fort Green looking to try this Ethiopian spot. Instead we walked into Brooklyn Noon-which looked like it was more Caribbean influenced. The place we wanted to go to was RIGHT NEXT DOOR. We didn’t realize this till we were done with cake and on our way to boutique hop (or be blown down Atlantic Avenue). Anywho, I’d like to send a rather LARGE bag o’dicks to Brooklyn Noon- crusty, gnarled dicks for all who work there. To the people who made no effort to accommodate Moo and I-they pretty much looked at us like we walked into nail salon expecting steak n’ eggs! Fuck.Them.

Sunday: I learned some key things in brunching hard- though we brunched in SoHo and NOT Brooklyn making it a semi. Selma taught me about ordering the savory brunch dish and then sharing either waffles, French toast, pancakes- basically anything sweet, with your peeps. That way you get all your bases covered. Throw in some spicy bloody mary’s and you’re brunchin’ semi-hard, yo!

-Mo AKA DJ Moma chatted about holdin’ hands with dudes to get more gigs- basically realizing that he has to make wearing pastel colors n’ skinny slacks worth IT. It being the chaffed sac. He seemed miffed that we were all supportive/not surprised that he would be seen holding hands with dudes. Oh well, I guess with everyone and their moms thinking they’re DJ’s with their ‘Serrano’s’, there’s a lot of competition out there!

-Losing an hour of anything is not cool.