A Chronicles of Cashmere Series: Hard Heat- Reasons

I am continuing with my summer hot romance (only the way I can do romance) series Hard Heat.  Just because the summer is coming to an end, doesn't mean the heat is over...Reasons is inspired by my thing for Jesse Williams and how I secretly thinks he wants me too.



It's hard to remember a time when I didn't love Williams Jackson.  When I wasn't consumed by what he was doing, who he was with and why he had two last names as his full name.  There was that lull for about two years after college.  After he broke my heart and I vowed to never let him consume me again...but here he is walking to my table at this cafe` in my neighborhood.  The table where I sit and stare out of windows as I timidly sip an iced Americano with oat milk.  That was until today when my stare was met with the intense blue eyes that could only belong to Williams.
It took one blink for me to realize he was making his way into the cafe` and more importantly...I could not escape.  He may still have that way of filling up a room, but leaving you feeling empty. I felt his presence.  
I stand up because I realize that unlike high school where the obsession with Williams began, I could actually leave and not begin this twisted path of passionate humiliation.
After weaving around tables and people, all the while avoiding him...I am so close to the door but I smell his cologne before his hand takes mine.
He turns me around and there are the eyes and his earnest mouth. I gulp.  He stands so close to me and smiles.  It was like the sun.
I was done for.
---------------------------------------- In high school, there was an unofficial Williams Jackson club that consisted mostly of the cheerleaders and other seemingly attractive girls and guys.  I just creepily admired him from afar because I was not considered attractive enough to be vocal of my love...lust for him.  Williams mostly hung out with his friends on his basketball team or by himself with a book.  He would entertain a few of the attractive girls, but you couldn't hate him for being a 'typical jock' because he just wasn't.  
He was smart and engaging...and yet he still seemed to be a loner.  A loner in the sense that he didn't travel in a pack or sit with the same people at lunch, he would sometimes sit alone and I would spend my lunch hour wondering what he was thinking about.
Then I walked into my advanced calculus class and there was Williams and the only empty seat in the class was next to...Williams.  Though everyone was attracted him, they were also intimidated by him.  
With weak knees I sat next to him before our teacher realized I was late.
"Finally decided to join us- we're continuing with that problem from yesterday." I can feel him looking at me.  His voice sounded amused.  I refused to look at him...if I could just focus on getting my notebook out and pretending I was interested in what was going on in class- not wondering if I accidentally rub up against Williams' arm, would my shirt smell like him?  Could I pretend he said nothing and continue living as if he doesn't know I exist?
"Maya?"  He said my name!  He knows my name?!  I turn and look at him with what I imagine is 'horror'.
"Yes..." I say.  We are eyeing each other curiously.
"I wasn't sure if you heard me..." He smirks.
"I did just didn't think you needed a response."  He shrugs and turns his attention back to the front of the room.  I wasn't done with him yet...
"How do you know my name?"
"You know my name, right? We go to school together, it's not that hard to comprehend." He seemed more annoyed now as he wrote something in his notebook.
I took this to mean I had my moment in the sun with Williams, and now we would resume the relationship that I have grown accustomed to.  

That didn't happen though.  
We sat next to each other in calculus every day and had short conversations about class, the weather, the appeal of our school tater tots and various other subjects.  Of course these conversations made Williams fascinate me even more.  
I wouldn't say we were friends and I was nowhere near thinking he was interested in me, but when his latest girlfriend was found murdered in an abandoned lot- I thought this would be the trauma that would make him see me as love interest potential.
I know I seemed a bit shallow and monstrous not even caring that a young woman lost her life, but Brittany Curtis always went out of her way to be rude, even though I tried my best to never interact with her.
"Can you meet me after school today?"  Williams almost seemed earnest, he leaned close to me and his eyes never left mine as he awaited my answer.
"Sure."
"We'll walk towards Nero's for pizza...my treat."  He winks at me.
I nod and almost inch away from him.  One would think I would be over the moon, but something about him was off putting.  I decided that a murdered friend...lover...person you knew would make anyone 'off-putting'.
So I met Williams and we walked.  We were both silent and really didn't speak until we entered Nero's and he asked what I wanted.  We both settled on a slice and a soda, found a table towards the back and began eating in a silence that became comforting.
Then Williams said something that changed me forever:"I think I killed my girlfriend."
He whispered it, but he knew I heard him.  I knew his eyes would catch every nuance, so I tried to keep my face neutral.  He continued: "I let her know I didn't want to be with her because I found someone else and she wouldn't take no for answer."
He paused again and then continued: "I don't know what happened...I don't remember...but I did this for you.  Ever since you finally noticed me enough to speak to me I haven't been able to sleep much less be with her.  Do you understand?"
I felt like I had been running the way my breath came out of my mouth in spurts.  My heart raced- perhaps because I should've been running away from him, but instead I stayed and tried to make sense of this guy I have been obsessed with...being obsessed with me enough to kill someone?
This is when I was changed forever...because I made it make sense...I made it reason number 10 of why I would forever love Williams Jackson.

-----------------------------------------

"Williams...." I say in a low, strained voice.  I thought he tired of me and I was free, but here he was with an arm around my waist holding me firmly to him.  There was no escape.
"Oh how I've missed you Maya." He nuzzles my neck and pecks my jawline.  He sways a little as if he is intoxicated by me.
"That's hard to believe since you dumped me senior year of college-" The look he gives me cuts that sentence short.
He takes my hand again and leads me out of the cafe`.  "Let's walk a little."
As we make our way down Dekalb Avenue, I noted how we blended in as a normal couple.  Williams kisses my hand as we walk and I watch him with a mix of fear and wanting.  
"Williams...I was meeting someone at that cafe`..." I stop walking.  An amused smirk forms on his lips.
"A date, Maya?"  
"Yes."  Alice, a woman I work with was setting me up with her brother.  She felt I was too young and cool to not be dating anyone, and she says her brother is a catch...for someone who just wants to date and not marry.
I just hope my baby step towards moving on doesn't kill Alice's brother.
"What's his name?" Williams gave nothing away with his voice or expression, and that's when I knew he was most lethal.
"Aaron."
"Is it your first date?"
"Yes."
"Are you going to fuck him tonight, Maya?" Williams is smiling now.  I sigh deeply. Relieved.  He wasn't threatened, so Aaron will live another day.
"That's none of your business, Williams."
"You don't seem happy to see me...." He steps closer to me, "Oh, but I know you are probably so wet right now..." He closes his eyes as if he was relishing a moment.
"I...I have to go..." He kisses me, it started so hard and urgent.  Then he puts his hands in my hair and begins caressing my lips with his.  I could no longer hold back, I wrap my arms around him. I am unaware of where I am, my date, the fact that he broke my heart.
This is what he does.  He pulls me back in and there is no hope for anyone, mostly myself.
He slowly stops kissing me and whispers in my ear, "Come with me..."  With that, a black SUV pulls up to where we are and Williams ushers me into the back seat.
"Home, sir?" The drivers asks.
"Yes."  Williams returns his focus to me.  "You are no longer dating Maya, you are now with me."
"Really...."
"Really."
"Just like that?"  I was trying to build up the fight in me, I couldn't let him win.  He was so persuasive...his power over me was unhealthy. I knew this.
"Just. Like. That."  He begins kissing me again.
Williams has decided he wants to be with me again...and I couldn't lie to myself and say that I didn't want to be with him.  We'll see how long this lasts-and then as if reading my mind, he says, "I am never letting you go again."


To Be Continued...

The series will continue with...Resolve
Stay Tuned!