Thursday, May 1, 2014

The Thirst

Listen, being a single chick in New York City I know how hard it is to see a good looking guy who seems semi normal and like he's about something, and keep yourself from jumping atop him and proceeding with a dry humping.
I get it.
BUT I am also a semi-normal chick who isn't thirsty

The Urban Dictionary (the most trusted) definition of thirsty is: 

1. Too eager to get something (especially play)
2. Desperate
(Boy running up) "Ay gurl whasup? Look, you lookin real nice, can I get that young number?"

(Girl under breath) "Thirsty"

There I am coming out of my office building on my way to basking in the sudden sunshine- Mother Nature must read my blog!!!  I barely notice a good looking dude in a suit walking by me.  I do notice a woman blocking the revolving doors staring after him as if he had ALL the answers.  
Mainly, I needed her out of my way so I could escape the confines of these marble walls!!
After I practically hit her with the door; I hear her say: oh yeah, he looks like he's an executive or something. he looks real good. (pause) yeah girl....
At that point I was too far away to hear the rest of the THIRST!  I am always shocked when things like this happen because my guy friends say these things happen, but I never believe them.  Holy shit I was wrong!  Women be THIRSTY like to a devastatingly embarrassing level.  A TV sitcom level.  It seemed like this woman had been following him down the block leading to my office building and knew that she couldn't get too far within the building so she lurked outside IN MY way.
...okay, I know women can be just as thirsty as dudes, but I just haven't seen it in so long it still bewilders me.
Shit, what am I talking about- there is this woman who works in my office building that is THIRSTY for me.  Like she looks at me like I am the last bite of a know where its all cheesy and ketchup-y and perfect!  She not only looks at me like that, she says ne comprende pas.

People need to be less #parched and start quenching their souls with Oprah's chai latte`s!