Thursday, June 22, 2017

Surprisingly Deep

Last week I took a WHOLE vacation because it was my birthday.  I wanted to be on chill.
It was a staycation because I didn't feel like traveling AND it wasn't like I needed to be on some beach far and away to reflect on this journey around the sun.  I just had to be taken to dinner by the homie Margobot.  She sat across from me and asked: what is the most important thing you have learned in all your years on this planet so far?
(she probably worded it better, but there were drinks involved)
She assumed I would sprinkle my usual humor with something poignant (maybe).  We were both surprised how the question struck me.  It tugged at something in me and I started getting teary eyed (maybe I needed a lil cry, who knows?)
I said there are many things, so many things, but the most important for me has been just going on.  Moving forward.  Waking up everyday and saying ' I can do this.  I will go on.'
Do you truly know how hard that is?
I mean, for the most part WE ALL DO IT, but when you take a moment to really think about all the shit that has happened to you, that may be happening to you now...that will happen to you, and know that the seemingly minute act of moving forward...continuing on when it would just be so easy to not.
Whew.
Just thinking about that.  Sitting a lil bit in that room that has the projector that plays all of our life moments- and thinking about ALL OF IT.
Realizing that I am thankful for my somewhat stable mind, humor and people in my life who don't suck.  Realizing how none of the bullshit matters because the sheer strength it takes to move forward and not suck....shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.

Needless to say I'm coming out with a trap-emo-mariachi-r&b album this fall.  Look out for it!