Friday, February 19, 2016

Nature, Kale or Magic?




I need to know what type of green juice sorcery is keeping Angela Bassett this FINE.  We know 'black doesn't crack' but this is beyond.  Angela is practically 60 and looks better than most chicks more than half her age...more importantly she looks better than me!
How is this happening?  Does she meditate on the regs and is less hateful than a wretch like me?  What kind of foods is she eating?  Does she sleep on sheets made of dolphin skin and pillows filled with fairy whispers??!!

I need to know!  I'm willing to follow whatever regime she is doing...unless it involves hours in the gym...or actually only drinking green juice...or not ever drinking milkshakes... Now if magics are involved, then I am down with that.  I have a strong amount of Native American blood so I feel inclined to spirituality and mother Earth n' shit.  I got this!

See this is why I cannot be her, but dammit imma try!