Monday, November 28, 2016

Gilmore Girls: A Year In The Life of Nah

Admittedly I was way too excited about the proposed Gilmore Girl's ...reunion...reboot... year in the life...well...tying up loose ends of sorts.
The gentler, quirky side of me became so attached to them characters and I can watch whole seasons over and there's Jess- and I have already proclaimed my love for Milo Ventimiglia.  I was excited to revisit these characters and kinda forget what had happened during season 7 aka the season that shall not be spoken of.
Then the Gilmore Girls reboot thing happened...and here are my thoughts.  Needless to say...I don't feel all warm and fuzzy, and wonder if I coulda just continued to live with the season we shan't speak of or just wrote a really dope fanfic....

  • I mean a good ten years have gone by and people age...but some age like fine wine (or most Black people) and some age like a grilled cheese sandwich left on the hood of a car for a week- during the summer.  I am shallow enough to admit I judge how actors age mostly because I am petty (at times).  For the most part, a lot of the actors should've stayed in my season 7 minds eye...because sweet hay-sus it has been a LONG ten years.  Not all though- I know the actress that plays Miss Patty is sick so she is not thrown in my petty mix, and Suki looks great...of course Michele looked EXACTLY the same...because Black Don't Crack.  Even Taylor looked the same...Kirk looks better with age....Babette looks the same too.  Now Lorelei looked like she had been through ish and really couldn't pull off the 'cute, quirky' style she is known for.  I mean Emily looked better than she.  I was alarmed by Lorelei's face.  I was alarmed by Rory's too.  They were trying to use camera techniques when a new haircut and better clothing was needed.
  • Luke's new hairline....this deserves it's own paragraph though he is thrown in with that ALARMING aging group.  I was distracted from dialogue due to Luke's new hair plugs...I think there was some coloring spray involved too.  As you can see I analyzed the hell out of his new hair- and it was okay looking when he didn't wear the cap...but it was BRUTAL when he wore the cap.  You just saw this patch of 'plug hair' and some possible spray coloring.  I was good with season 6 Luke.
  • Though I have never given one white privileged fuck about Logan, I have to say that time has done him well.  He looked damn good...and dare I say it...FINE!  I still gave no fux about him or that dreadful storyline/love thing with he and Rory....
  • SPEAKING OF THAT- Rory having an affair with ANOTHER taken man I could've really done without.  I thought we were DONE with Logan once Rory turned down the engagement...okay, perhaps they would remain friends...but him being engaged to someone else...them still fucking and NOW...NOW Rory continues the cycle by being pregnant with his child?!! Ugh.  Thank goodness Richard Gilmore (one of my faves) wasn't here to see this...
  • Oh man.  I will say they did my Richard justice- am so sad the actor died in real life (Edward Hermann).  Most of my tears were from missing his character and watching the amazing Emily go through it!  I loved the Emily storyline...and will go on record to say that it was well done and the BEST thing about the reboot.  Emily is another fave and they did right by her- I loved how her year came to a close.
  • I like where Paris is at too...and that she remains...Paris.  She looked good too, but then we have seen the actress on How To Get Away With Murder as Bonnie and know she is fly!  She and Doyle are where I thought they would be- not together- and I like that they incorporated him being a screenwriter now like the actor who portrays him in real life.
  • Finally, they delve into Michele's life!  Not like his sexuality mattered...we did get the hint that he was possibly gay...and it turns out he is.  He is married and was interested in typical GG fashion though, he was kinda an after thought  and I feel he got as much screen time as he did because Suki wasn't around...
  • Ugh seeing Rachel Ray in Suki's kitchen made me kick a pillow!  I understand there was a scheduling conflict with Melissa McCarthy, but girl did we need some Suki.  I know Lorelei thinks she's the shit, but the beauty of Gilmore Girls are all the characters...especially Suki!  I LOVE me some Suki and really hoped Melissa saw the script and that was THE REAL reason she had 'scheduling conflicts'.  #shade
  • Like why couldn't Rory have bumped into Jess and be carrying his brunette (sexy ass) child!  Jess is IT girl.  He stay inspiring...and being smart...yet cool...and you can really talk to him. PLUS LOOK AT HIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!  Jess's arms (aka Milo's gun show) are phenomenal and had me wanting to be the book he slides into his back pocket.  Woulda loved to have seen more of Jess with Luke...or Luke's daughter...or Jess with Rory but NOOOOO I had to deal with insufferable ass Logan and his 'Life and Death' brigade white privileged ass buddies doing some type of tango dance sequence.  Jess made due though...and I got to see his arms, chest and ass that won't quit in some slacks...yummmm
  • Rory and Lorelei can be sooooo basic and insufferable...but I did like the ongoing joke with Rory dating Pete...Paul...something with a P and forgetting about him.  That was cute.

Overall I was underwhelmed and really could've done without this revisit- I mean, they obviously did this for the fans and I appreciate it, but it just made me mad mostly.  I think all the musical and dance numbers were HIGHLY unnecessary- then again I am not into musicals ...and it depends ON the dance sequence.  I still believe that most of life's troubles can be solved with a proper dance-off.  
Both Lorelei and Rory were annoying for no FUCKING reason.  People, especially clever people, evolve.  Not totally change who they are, but you see growth from where they've been.  These two basic bitches showed no growth and it annoyed the hell out of me.  If I was Luke, I would've taken my hair plugs and wiggetry (wig magic) and left Stars Hallow- moved to Philly with Jess and met a level headed dame who appreciates home cooking and a grumpy yet kind soul.  
Ugh maybe Rory is preggers by that Wookie- one- night-stand...but I think the timing is off so they are definitely pushing for it to be Logan's baby.  Such a disappointment. 

It was a nice IDEA to do this whole revamp...but sometimes it's okay to leave well enough alone.

Friday, November 18, 2016

On A Different Note...My Loins

In these trifling times, I must find ways to distract myself from the impending end of the world or the ultimate civil war where the X-Men join in the fight against trump and his minions- one of my distractions is Netflix.  I think most people who are trying to cope use Netflix to keep from setting things and people on fire.
Anyways, as I was catching up on Gotham, I noticed one of my faves...Milo Ventimiglia aka Jess from Gilmore Girls (always and forever) was on a couple of episodes.

Ever since I first saw his side smirk on the Gilmore Girls I have been enamored.  Sure he's a fine actor, but he is also FINE AS HELL!!!!

I feel like I could go grab a pizza with him and then hit up a museum...or he would teach me about wines as we played scrabble or xbox.  I feel like he's knowledgeable but not a dick about it.  I also feel like he can unselfishly slang the dick.
These are tough times for me and white men (white people in general...except for my homies), but I feel Milo would give me hope.  Hope and that DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD.

That's all.

Friday, November 11, 2016

New Vocab: trump

Got some new vocab for you folks!

The word is: trump

Definition: Anything that is hateful, tacky, gross, evil, the worst, no bueno, not legit, bad, cancelled, over, wack, meh,  fraudulent, etc.

Used in a sentence(s):

Can't wait until I get paid next week because my bank account is looking real trump right now.

I know he looks like Jesse Williams but he is mad trump.

The fact that her eyebrows are reaching her non-existent edges is real trump.

Ugh, Mondays are sooooo trump.

Kitten heels are trump.

Thursday, November 10, 2016

The Players of Themselves

This is really happening.
Besides the anger, sadness, hurt, despair- there is this disbelief that donald trump (lowercase because he has not one iota of my respect) is the president of the United States of America aka land of worst and home of the lame.
This horrible turn of events has really brought out the worst in the worst...and the worst in the people that we didn't know were the worst.  So many people that are in the same boat as me, are having to remove people (family and friends) from their social media and real lives because they are coming out trying to defend their trump support.  Of course they are saying nothing of intelligence or value.  Their reasoning lacks any sustenance.  If you support/voted for that man, you are a loud and wrong racist, xenophobe, bigoted piece of shit.
It is really that simple.
There is nothing amusing or cute or OKAY about trump winning the White House.  It is just telling of what a lot of people of color have BEEN saying, this 'post-racial' society we like to think America is, is BULLSHIT.  trump's win is a blaring view of what America is outside of your bubble of cool, diverse people.
I know and have known people who are aware, but have made excuses for their racist ass friends and family- fuck you!
You haven't stood up to these people before, well you sure as hell better do it now or you'll be lumped in with them- not saying anything and not challenging them is what got us into this mess.
I have called people out and you can too!  A simple phrase I utilize that keeps the feelings of confrontation low is: You are not allowed to speak to me anymore.
You say it calm and firm and RIGHT AFTER someone says something fucked up.  You then excuse yourself and that is that.
I don't exert any energy towards these people because with the way the world is, I have to use this energy for bigger fish to fry and keeping my ass off a slave ship.

Now is NOT the time to stay quiet, the loud and wrong are out here feeling quite empowered now that they have deplorable president representing them.  We must stand tall and firm in our being right, smart and decent.  We cannot let them overshadow the good.
These people have played themselves by electing this buffoon and WE are ALL going to pay the price.

Friday, October 28, 2016

A Chronicles of Cashmere Series: Things Change

**I am going into this only knowing that Jeffrey Dean Morgan is playing Negan on The Walking Dead and that he carries a barbed wire bat named Lucille.  I never read the comics and only care about Negan because sexy ass Jeffrey Dean Morgan is playing him hence this fanfic.  Just know this is coming from an ignorantly imaginative sexy place.**

       Negan sat in the clearing tapping 'Lucille', his bat, against the tip of his boot.  He did this lightly as his favorite toy, this bat, was wrapped in barbed wire.  If one were observing Negan, one would think he was pensive or brooding, it wasn't that deep though.  He just enjoyed the silence.  One of the best things about the zombie apocalypse, besides having the power he had in this life and not the loser garbage truck driver life he led pre-apocalypse- he enjoyed the silence of this world.  You could really sit and think about nothing because there were no sounds.
This quiet also made it easier to hear everything.  To see everything.  He saw her peek from behind a tree twice.  He listened to see if there were more with her, she was alone.
Honay knew the moment he saw her.  She felt it on her skin.  Prickles of danger.  She uses the tree to shield herself again, she did a mental count of the weapons on her...and then she hears the crunch of dead leaves and knows he is close.
She takes in a short breath and comes from behind the tree and almost goes right into Negan's broad chest.  They both take a step back, weapons drawn.  Her machete and his barbed wire bat.  Negan smirks as he eyes Honay up and down, he counted at least three other weapons on her.  Now that he counted her weapons he took in her body.  How she was able to remain firm yet soft in the era of scrawny led him to believe she was a survivor.

"Well, well, well missy, now that ain't polite..."  A smirk never leaves Negan's face.  He likes that she doesn't waver.

"Put yours down first and then maybe I'll be more cordial."  Her voice low and clear.  Honay would cut him in half before he would even swing on her.

"I think we're doing just fine speaking like this.  Now what's a pretty woman like you doing all alone?  You should be nicer and join my team." He wanted her to join just him though, and not just for breeding.  He would take pleasure in her.

"I am not alone and would never join your team."  In a blink of the eye, she slices off Negan's arm that held the bat, then decapitates him.  She shakes the blood off her machete and continues on her way.

The End

**This was GOING to be a normal fanfic where a character that was basically me was going to bone the lead dude I want to bone (on the show), but after watching the season premiere of The Walking Dead and seeing what Negan did to my BELOVED Glen?!!!
Negan does not even deserve my fantasy vag!!!! None of it!  Sure there have been other beloved character deaths- not BETH, sorry, was over her.  'Everybody Hates Chris' and Glen stood out because they just died horribly...they couldn't get bitten and die slowly....or die peacefully in their sleep from food that went bad...
No they had to go in the WORST WAYS!  For that, Negan gets NONE of this 'nani.  Even though actor Jeffrey Dean Morgan can get it EVERY DAY OF THE may dwindle down to every OTHER day because ... Glen!**

Wednesday, October 5, 2016

(Throwin' Up) On Trends

I mean I like trends and am smart enough to know what works and what doesn't work...for me.  Being a sometimes judg-y, petty schmuck- I also know what doesn't work for you.
I know, I know.
You are still stuck on me calling myself 'petty' and 'judg-y', me this often highly evolved being....but I am aware enough to know I have my moments (meaning I have listened to the #Solange album).
For instance, last week I was nauseous because two people in my office were wearing kitten heels!

The kitten heel...

Is certainly a thing I will judge you on.  I don't care what age you are...religion, race, trans...there is NEVER A NEED to wear a kitten heel.  You either wear a fucking heel or you don't!  Heels come in various sizes that are acceptable to wear and EVEN be comfortable in.  The 1 inch or 2 inch heel is NOT acceptable.  Nothing 1 inch or 2 inches is ACCEPTABLE! (#Cheeky)
Kitten heels say to me that YOU want to be comfortable BY ANY MEANS (#MalcomX)...but you also want to not be sexually desired nor do you want other women to envy your style!
Its says you give no fux about life, liberty or the pursuit of happiness.
It says you want to make ME sick!

Kitten heels....

They seem to be on trend now...which will make those less inclined to style or care think it is okay to wear them.  IT IS NOT OKAY!  Everything is not for everyone!

Just please...PLEASE don't do it.

Monday, August 22, 2016

A Chronicles of Cashmere Series: Z is for Zayn

** Gotta keep it light for the summa with a little Zayn Malik fanfic! Holla!  Nope, I did not go back in a time machine and make myself 16 again.**


  The library seemed like the safest place to be especially when he found a dark corner among 'the stacks'.  "The stacks' where tall bookcases dwelled- as high as the ceiling- filled with books as far as the eye could see.  'No one would find him here' he thought.  Then he trips over a leg, a leg topped off with a nice sneaker.
"Ouch...the fuck..."  A rather melodic female voice says.  She sits up and what he noticed first were her eyes and second, that they lacked any recognition of who he was.

"Sorry."  His voice low and raspy with a British accent.  This caused one delicate eyebrow to raise on her face.  Mikaela was a sophomore at Buffalo State College, and had only heard the hard 'r' of the Buffalonean accent.  This vaguely brown Brit with tattoos that appeared to cover most of his body- or what she could see in his t-shirt- intrigued her.  She wondered why he appeared to be frazzled and hiding out in the stacks of the library.

"As long as you're not here to harm me, then I accept your apology."  She tried to remember a few self defensive moves she learned from the free classes given on campus.
He chuckles causing his already sparkling brown eyes to almost shoot out glitter- Mikaela shook her head, who is this twinkly eyed Brit who has her sounding like a teen romcom.

"No, I am not here to harm you.  I am just trying to hide- and not because I harmed someone."  He smirks.  There were very few people who didn't know who Zayn Malik was so when he came upon this person who seemed to have no clue, he decided that 'hiding' with her would suit him just fine.  He sits cross legged in front of her and almost laughed when he sees her eyes roll.
"I may be overstepping the line, but I think you found the best spot to hide so I'd like to join you. I promise to be quiet."  He does the zipper over his lips thing.  Besides, he wouldn't mind just watching her read.
"I'm Zayn by the way..."  He holds out a tatted hand.

She takes his hand though she still wasn't into him 'hiding' with her, "I'm Mikaela.  Don't speak or creepily stare and you can stay." She thought the name Zayn sounded vaguely familiar but she focused on trying to ignore him and the fact that she wanted to hear his voice.  Maybe look into those sparkling eyes again- she dry heaved a little because she thought she was going to make herself sick.
Her focus fought hard to remain on the book in her hands, but she looked up and saw Zayn's handsome face smiling at nothing in particular.
"Why are you hiding anyways?"  She asks.  She closes her book because she knew it was never getting read, well not until this Zayn fellow was ready to 'un-hide' himself.

"I am doin' a concert here on campus-"

"Please don't tell me you're a rapper..."  There was the eye roll again.

He chuckles, "No, I sing."

"Sorry I don't know who you are...I study a lot."  She shrugs.

"It's great you don't know who I am...believe me-"

"So you're one of those...'oh, fame is too much...all this money, hoes and people caring about my every move' celebrities."

Zayn thought about that for second and realized he did come off like a privileged bloke at times.  "I just need a break once in a while- I won't complain too much, but try having swarms of girls screaming and crying whenever they are in your presence.  Every single time."

"Would this be before or after I counted all my money?"

"Touche`."  He smiles.  "So, all you do is study?  This is college you should be having fun."

"I have my fun...and now I can tell everyone I was hiding in the stacks with Zayn..."

"Malik.  That should add some intrigue...maybe we should find a secret door out and explore...Buffalo."  As he said it, he almost wanted to take it back- but then he realized he really wouldn't mind spending time with this Mikaela and hearing her thoughts on things.  A person who would give it to him straight and not 'yes, Zayn' him to death.  He notices the air becomes a bit cooler and sees Mikaela doesn't appear too happy.

"I can't leave." She practically whispers.  She almost hated how much the thought of walking through Delaware Park with him seemed perfect.  They would talk about nothing and everything.

Zayn stands and holds out a hand to Mikaela- "Come, let's find a side door- I have a feeling you're good at avoiding people."
Mikaela looks at his hand and smiles weakly.  He looked so earnest, she almost stood up...

"I can't...I thought you were hiding out anyways."

He shrugs and sits back down, " You're right.  Let me relish this moment.  I even turned my phone off...I'm afraid to look at it..."

"So don't..."  With that, they proceeded to talk about nothing and everything.  Zayn revealed things he only told close friends and he would stop laughing just to hear her throaty chuckle.  It felt like one of those moments that would be fleeting but neither would forget.  He didn't understand why, but the longer they chatted, the more he felt like he would never see her again.

"Give me your number- so when I am finished performing we or something."  He takes out his phone and squints his eyes shut, the mere thought of all the messages that would appear made him tense.  He didn't wanna leave this space...or Mikaela, but he had to be responsible
He is surprised when he opens his eyes and Mikaela is standing and smiling down at him, her hand held out.

"I'll find you." She leaned in enjoying his warmth...and she went for it, she kissed his cheek.  Zayn felt a tingle where her soft lips touched his face.  He often felt jaded but at that moment he felt himself blush with the flutter of butterflies in his toned belly.

"Okay."  Something told him to say more.  To hold her, but when he opened his eyes, which he didn't realize he was still holding closed, she was gone.  The air still smelled like her.  It smelled like vanilla and ginger.  He sighs heavily and vows to come back here and wait until she appeared again...if she didn't find him as promised.


Zayn was so distracted by trying to get out of his well hidden spot and then out of the library, he almost walked into a wall.  What shook him out of his reverie and thoughts of Mikaela...was Mikaela.  A beautiful portrait of the face he just spent an hour staring at.  He then notices the dates underneath the photo: June 9, 1995- April 10, 2013. Her name was Mikaela Jones.
He feels like he's been punched in the gut.  A librarian appears pushing a cart full of books.

"Are you okay?"  He asks.

Zayn tries speaking several times, but no words come out.  He is just able to point at Mikaela's picture.

"Oh yeah...Mikaela Jones.  Sweet girl.  She worked here at the night some sicko got in and killed her...right in the stacks.  Didn't find her until the next morning...they caught the guy- since then we upped security around here...and named this area 'MJ Stacks'.  Mikaela loved the stacks." The librarian looks at something that isn't there and smiles.  Then he slowly makes his way towards the elevators.


Friday, August 12, 2016


It can't be all shit ALL THE TIME....gotta have some light, fun moments to remind me of the tender kitten I ammmmmm.
Recently I went to visit another city that is dear to my heart, Buffalo.  While in Buffalo I discussed with my homie Stacey the journeys of the members of NSYNC.  You see, back in college, Stacey and I were deep into NSYNC.  Am talking two concerts, all the CD's, had to see/tape whenever they were on television...
Mainly our discussion involved figuring out what JC was doing.  I suggested him being a manager at a Guitar Center and Stacey just hoped he was OKAY.
Then his (JC's) birthday came and this happened.....

Justin DOES still take their calls!  Chris looks exactly the same because he has always looked 40!! ...and then there is JC!  He is alive and looks to work as a manager at a Restoration Hardware or an Apple Store.  He looks well.  I LOVE that they hung out on his birthday!  This gave me hope for the world.  This gave me hope for life.
Thank you NSYNC for getting me through college (in a slightly creepy way because most girls at concerts were like 13, but I was always like I CAN ACTUALLY SLEEP WITH THEM) and for now getting me through a world where a dude with an asshole shaped mouth can really run for president.

Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Black, Black

"You're not, black though..."

That's really what most people want - or to not be made to feel like their feelings, struggles or simply being a human being is insignificant.
Unfortunately, Black people are often made to feel insignificant and claims of racism and abusive cops are invalidated.  Even when there is proof, we are told how we deserved to be killed because of criminal pasts or HONEST mistakes.  No one is held accountable for our lives so we shout 'BLACK LIVES MATTER' and are told 'ALL LIVES MATTERS' to further invalidate us.  When the basic meaning of  'all lives matter' IS that 'black lives matter'.
In my experience, back when I gave a fuck, I spent most of my time validating my blackness or apologizing for it.  By apologizing, I mean really 'promoting' all these 'non-specifically' black things I was into to prove I was 'cool' and 'please don't think I am just some sassy, neck rolling black girl'.
Little did I know, I didn't have to work that hard because very few people thought of me as BLACK at all.  I was 'not like them'.  I was this light skinned, ambiguous looking chick.  I didn't look black or 'talk black'...I wasn't, you know, black black.
These words have been said to me in a non joking way.
It made me mad but I was young and dumb and couldn't put a finger on why because being black wasn't a burden to was just who I was.  I was into the 'we shall over come' and if I don't 'see color' and just surround myself with likeminded people we WILL overcome.
Then I got 'woke'. Woke or start really seeing the world...and really listening to people...and really start not giving a fuck.  I realized I had nothing to prove and that people are mostly shit.  Then I started seeing videos and pictures of black people being murdered and LISTENING to people invalidate these black lives.  Invalidate my life.
Like when I say I have been followed around stores or (when I was on dating sites) be told that I could get a way with saying I am not Black...because it would make me more attractive.
People don't like to believe me or think I am exaggerating because...I am not black, black.

With all the recent events, I had gone back into my slightly depressed state.  Being woke causes constant rage and depression which are never good states to be in. So I try to do things to encourage laughter and be the carefree Black girl I am...
I went to see Ghostbusters and as I laughed and thoroughly enjoyed the movie, every time I saw m'girl Leslie Jones I thought about how AWFUL ASS PEOPLE were trying to knock her down and tell her she didn't DESERVE to be in that movie and compared her looks to a monkey.
Here I was enjoying a moment, yet had to be reminded about how truly AWFUL the world is and most people are.
Here is this beautiful, talented, HILARIOUS woman invalidated simply because she is Black.

I always discuss perspective and how I try my hardest to have it.  Not when it comes to ignorant assholes, but just in general.  My experiences have allowed me to gain a lot of perspective and have taught me to never negate someones feelings (unless they are cruel and/or dumb) or experiences.  I mean I am TRYING...but for the most part I have my headphones on and I'm writing all the fanfiction (in my head) that I have started and am trying to finish but world events get me into a non creative funk...

Wednesday, July 6, 2016

So You Think You Can FitBit?

Last night I had a dream I was trapped in a room.  The room was in an abandoned building- well it appeared to be, it could have just been real industrial.
I was not alone in this room, there were like 9-10 other people who I cannot recall...but I think I knew them.  We seemed to work well together in any case...because we were engineering some machines AND choreographing a dance routine that incorporated these machines.
It was a whole NUMBER.  A dance number that required acrobatics and engineering!!
Once we were done...we were then judged by Jay-Z who showed up wearing a black Yankee fitted and had about 5 people with him.  We did our thing and then breathlessly awaited the verdict.
Jay-Z LOVED it so we were then free to leave the room...and the building.

I don't know WHAT this means, but I do know I just got a FitBit so I blame that.

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Dear Bobby Flay,

It was a warm Friday eve when our spiritual and physical bodies made contact- okay not in that WAY, but in the way where we were pretty much sitting next to each other.  You were dressed like the pic above.  Me looking fly in whatever I was wearing.  I was there with a friend who was treating me to birthday dranks and a meal.  A fine meal.  We had been to Gato before and knew immediately we had to go back.  She figured a summer Friday before my birthday was the way to go.
I spent most of the meal making lewd comments (the usual) about us (you and me Bobby)- about how you are not my type but I would definitely have BRUNCH AT BOBBY'S post a long night of playing UNO and love making.  I mentioned how you would keep me well fed during my visits to your apartment.  I also mentioned that the food we were eating was so good that you must've put dick shavings in it...
I may have said a lot more but...dranks.
Suddenly the check arrived and then you did.  I made a comment about 'my boyfriend showing up to pay the bill' and our lovely waitress laughed...and you did a squinty thing where you realized I was 'no one' and proceeded to sit at the table next to us.
I have made it NO SECRET that you can get it!...I mean I didn't make it obvious in person because I AM A LADDDDY and also...look at me.  I am fine as hell!  I am not thirsty for dudes...even you Bobby Flay- BUT there was a heat betweenst us.  You felt it.  I felt it.  So stop fronting and be the grown man you are and hit me up.
I like bloody mary's as a brunch drink and am allergic to oranges so they can't be a part of any meals you make for me.  Please include that egg dish you make at Gato though because that dish is so simple yet so amazing!
I see you like to use social media, but please no pics of us together...respect my privacy please and thank you.

Speak soon.



Monday, June 20, 2016

You Like Me, You Really Really Like Me

Some people don't realize what they have until it's gone- luckily am constantly reminded of how lucky I am and all that I have.
Me, a wretched goddess of love, joy and hate, who is cared for and by people.  Amazing people.
Last week I sort of celebrated my birthday- like I didn't make it a thing, just told people I was on a staycation so they could have their way with me if they were around.  Now we all know I am a person who values her time...ESPECIALLY alone time, so for me to want to hang out with ANYONE means I really really like you, and because I know people who value their time and have THINGS going on, for these people to put aside time to share a meal, a drink, a laugh...any or all of that with me...whew I am truly blessed.
Each and every day was occupied by someone I love who loves me back...and my bro even hooked me up with a sleek new alarm so that I would always be ON TIME.

Thank you to all who sent love, showed love or just thought about me and kicked someone- I truly appreciate it!!

Friday, June 10, 2016

Recent Surreal Moments in the Life of Cashmere

This could also be the time I realized that Cashmere's (me) been evolving n' shit.

I'll start with the worst of it....
Well the week already involved a crazy lady at Trader Joe's who I refrained from punching as she attempted to remove my headphones- I KNOW- I remembered that she was CRAZY and used my 'I am talking to a grown ass person like child' tone of voice.  There was no bloodshed and I had the respect of TJ's employees and other customers alike.  Though they all admitted they would've supported me punching this woman.
Then...then...I am riding the train with a new coworker and we were coming from happy hour.  Out of nowhere she mentions this group chat she has with friends and family called, "McNiggaz".
A few things...she is white, I am assuming her family is white too, and because of how South Brooklyn is set and just my initial assessment of her...all her friends are white too.
Again, I refrained from punching her as she laughed HEARTILY at this group chat name because I figured she had been drinking...and the whole coworker thing.  Can't come back from me beating your ass- BUT as she told me WHY the group chat is called this....basically her 'dumb ass cousin' was drunkenly ordering McDonalds one night and instead of asking for mcnuggets, he asked for McNiggaz.
As she continued to laugh I repeatedly asked if anyone beat his ass- I wasn't smiling, smirking, chuckling ...I think I was even speaking through my teeth.
His ass wasn't beaten.
Of course I had the Black existential crisis of trying to figure WHY this chick thought this would be okay to say to me?!  My mom clued me in that she probably figured I was a self hating corporate Black person because I don't appear to be bitter, standoffish or act like 'them'.  Moms, coming through with that knowledge.  She was also proud I didn't punch her....
I have decided to keep my distance so there will be no other instance where McNiggaz chick can drink a little too much and say something where the punching WILL happen because once is me being EVOLVED and twice..well...

So the other day after work I head into the ring of hell I call Grand Central.  I am heading towards the 6 train (aka the long steal path to Lucifers taint) and see it waiting (for me) in the station.  As I put a lil more pep in my step I notice this guy walking a lil ahead of me.  I notice his pale grey suit and then the cut of the suit...and then the cut of the BODY in the suit.  I nod with approval.
Finally I get up to dudes face and see that it is Dwyane (the fuck) Wade!
I shake my racist white ancestors out of head and say this handsome Black gentleman heading toward the 6 train with me COULDN'T possibly be DWade!  All Blacks DO NOT look alike.
It was him.  We head down the stairs together.  Side by side.  I literally look at him and ask: why the fuck are you riding the 6 train?
I also have spent DAYS scouring the internets looking for candid shots of us. NOTHING.  I did find out that he and Gabby Union posted an after sex Snapchat.  No thanks.

That happened...since I am on some magical time I need to be heading into an elevator that gets stuck with Idris Elba!!...and I will only punch him if he is into that.

Thursday, May 12, 2016

A Chronicle of Cashmere Series: Dean In Tazmania

**I am still working on a fanfic for The Walking Dead involving Neegan- but right now I decided to put out this fanfic involving Jensen Ackles AKA Dean Winchester from Supernatural and my recent trip to Miami.  Pretty random, but quite cosmic.  You see, I have started Supernatural from season 1 on Netflix- I never had a problem with the show, just never watched it.  This is surprising since I am all thinking supernatural AND 'Dean' from Gilmore Girls is on it- I am not into him like I am INTO Jensen, but I enjoy his acting.  So here I am watching Supernatural...falling for Jensen ALL OVER AGAIN- his eyes, his lips...that chin cleft, whew lawt!  Anyways, who plays their dad?!  Jeffrey Dean Morgan AKA Neegan on The Walking Dead #FullCircle
So I found a way to incorporate my love for Jensen and unload activities that may or may not have occurred (#FanFic) on my trip!  Enjoy!!**
**All names except Jensen's have been changed.**

Tazmania Jones stepped out of the air conditioned cab in front of the luxurious resort and spa she was set to stay in for three nights.  The humid air smelled of the ocean and was filled with that Miami energy she was accustomed to when she visited.  The perfect city to choose your own adventure- though she wasn't really looking for an adventure.  She needed rest and relaxation.  A moment to reflect and file her thoughts.
After checking-in, she makes her way towards the elevators that would take her up to her room.  Lost in thoughts about what to have for dinner, she walks into someone.  Someone who was solid and who caught her by her elbows...and then began massaging them with his thumbs.  Tazmania looked up into the most intense green eyes that were enhanced with a slow full lipped smirk.

"Well hello there darlin'-"  His deep southern tinged voice almost seemed to growl with appreciation.  Dean Winchester loved women, there was no denying that.  There was just something behind her slanted brown eyes that piqued his interest. Her skin was so soft, he knew he should stop touching her but he couldn't help himself.

"Sorry...uh-"  She steps back to adjust herself and her shoulder bag, but mostly she needed to get out of his handsome grip.

"The least I can do is take this, " he goes to take her bag, "and carry it up to your room."

"Ah, a gentleman.  So I bump into you and then you follow me to my room to kill me?  I apologized."  She allows him to tug at her bag, but does not let go.  She is overwhelmed by his throaty chuckle.

"Okay, that was a little creepy of me- how about I let you buy me a drink tonight at the hotel bar just so we're square."

"Oh we're square..."  She begins heading towards the elevators before she considered drinks with him.

"Dean.  My names, Dean."  He is walking towards the elevators with her.

She taps the up button and the doors open immediately, she enters the elevator with Dean right beside her.  She figures she'd have to give her name now or the ride would be even more awkward.

"Is that where you're from?" He has crossed his golden arms over his broad chest, his head tilted in curiosity.

"That is my name.  Tazmania."

"So you hate your parents?"  There was the full lipped smirk again.  Tazmania couldn't help but smile too.  She often thought of a name change but was too lazy for the process...and plus, having a name like Tazmania Jones always helped with the small talk she hated so much.

"My parents wanted me to be a crime fighter or something."

"Are you one?"  He asks, and at that point the elevators open on Tazmania's floor.

"Sometimes."  She says as she steps out and the doors closed.  Though Dean was handsome and charming, and she didn't mind flirting with him, she longed for solitude.  Not having to speak to anyone...or even see them, if she just decided to stay in her hotel room.
Her room was standard, clean and the king sized bed looked inviting.  After putting her stuff away and freshening up, she decides to lay low in her room and decide where to have dinner that night.
As she was about to look up restaurants on her iPad the TV suddenly comes on in her room, then the bathroom light.  Tazmania squints and thinks that the hotel may have things on a timer.  She goes to turn off the bathroom light and then the TV when the mp3 radio that was on the left nightstand comes on playing Selena Gomez's "Hands to Myself".  A tingle of fear and a little embarrassment for loving that song came over her.
Perhaps the hotel had a timer set on 'party time' that made things turn on so that a guest felt the need to go out or something.  She decides to call the front desk because she wanted nothing to do with this timer situations.

"Hello Ms. Jones, how can I help you?"  The front desk clerk says.

"Hi.  I guess things are on a timer in my room because they keep coming on-"

"Timer?  We don't have anything on a timer.  If you would like something turned on, you have the power to turn it on."

"So why are things turning on in my room?"

"What things?"

"The TV, the bathroom light and you can hear the radio on in the background."

"And you didn't turn any of these things on?"

"No, that's why I am calling you asking about a timer."  Tazmania knew that this was beyond being a timer, but thinking it was anything seemed crazier.

"I can have someone come up and check the power outlets in your room if you'd like."

"That would be great.  Thanks.  I will just head down to the hotel bar..."

"Okay, hoepfully we can fix this issue for you and if not we can give you a new room."

"Great, thank you."  They hang up.  Tazmania felt an unease.  She knew it would be best just to leave the room.  She would bring her iPad to keep people from starting random conversations with her.

The hotel bar was airy and to Tazmania's delight, not filled with too many people.  She found a quiet corner of the spacious bar and ordered a strawberry mojito.  Just as she was about to open her iPad and go back to the important work of finding a place to have dinner, she felt someone sit next to her, she looks up to see Dean.  Though her heart began beating faster- her traitor body excited to be near him again, she tried to shift away from him to subconsciously let him know to 'go away!'

"It is truly my lucky day..." Dean really couldn't believe his luck, now he wouldn't have to hack into the hotel files to find out what room Tazmania was staying in.  He happened to be passing when he saw her get off the elevator and enter the bar.  Besides her obvious beauty, he felt a certain energy with her...he hoped she wasn't any sort of creature.
A strawberry mojito is placed in front of Tazmania, she appears to be gulping it down.
"You know this is a bar, there are more drinks..." He says and orders a beer.

"I know, but between you and the gho- I mean the power being wonky in my room.  Drinks need to be gulped."

Dean hoped that feeling he felt towards Tazmania had nothing to do with the spiritual realm, but of course he wasn't that lucky.
"Me and a ghost?"  He tried to keep his nonchalant demeanor.

"Well you know how you are...and I didn't say ghost."

"Not fully...but you intended to.  Why do you think you have a ghost?"

"Why are you so interested in ghosts?  Are you a ghostbuster or something?"  The drink was helping, and mint counted as a food group.  Right?

"Something like that..."  He usually didn't inform women he wanted to sleep with about his profession, but Tazmania had that effect on him.  The amused look on her face made him glad she was gulping down alcohol.
"How about we go to your room to resolve my curiosity..."

"I need to eat something or I will definitely do something I'll regret with you."  She waves over the bartender- and pokes Dean on his shoulder when he tries to stop her from getting food.  They order a few bar snacks and then head up to her room.

"You should thank the rum gods because that is the only reason I am entertaining this."  Tazmania says as she opens the door to her dark room, the AC hit them with a gush.

Dean smiled and then stepped in quickly before she changed her mind.  The cold gush felt very familiar to him.  He knew there was a spirit in this room.
"I will leave an offering for the rum gods, for sure."  He went to turn on the lights, they came on dimly.

"Supposedly someone from the hotel-"  She stops mid sentence because she sees a very dead looking woman coming towards them from the bathroom.  Dean puts up a well muscled arm to protect her as he pulls a salt bottle he stole from the hotel bar and begins shaking it at the 'woman'.  She disappears.
"What the fuck was that?"

"That was a spirit and the reason you'll be in my room tonight.  Gather your things-"

"I can just find another room in the hotel."  Even as she said it she knew it was a lie.  She would rather stay with Dean which was crazy because she usually hated everyone.

"The quicker we get to my room, the quicker we can figure out why there is a spirit in your room."  He usually minded having to work during a much needed vacation, but at this moment he was excited the spirit world decided to rear it's ugly head.

Even though Dean stayed in a room similar to Tazmania's, the room felt him.  As much as he flirted and seemed a bit 'cheesy playboy', he had a undeniable warmth to him.
 Once he made sure she was settled he got on his laptop and began Googling murders at the hotel.  He was so deep into his research he hadn't noticed Tazmania pacing.  She paced to absorb her current situation and to wrestle with her sudden want to rip Dean's shirt off and forget there was ever a ghost.  She stops pacing when she hears him whisper 'well I'll be'.
"What?" She asks and tries to stop blushing when she is met with his usual devilish smile.

"First things first, you are really fine to look at," he continues "and second thing, someone was killed in your room."

Tazmania almost trips over to him to read whatever he was reading on his laptop.  She sees a few articles with the words 'GRUESOME' and ' MURDER' in their title.  Without meaning to, she leans a hip on his shoulder and before she could move away Dean wraps a strong arm around her hip, not just to cop a feel but to ground her as well.

"It seems a Madeline Porter was killed in that room about five years ago.  The hotel put out reports that it was a crime of passion and her then boyfriend was arrested.  I was able to see police files though, they also investigated the manager of the hotel, Raul Garcia, who had seen Madeline at the hotel bar and taken a liking to her.  This propelled the boyfriend scenario, but Madeline also rejected Raul and according to reports he was the 'king of Miami'..."  Dean looks up into Tazmania's face to see how she was taking everything.  Her brows were furrowed and appeared to be trying to figure something out- he loved his brother Sam, but working a case with her would have its privileges.

"So she is haunting the room because..."  Tazmania was inebriated enough to go with the flow.  She and Dean- the ghost hunter- would figure out this haunting and get the ghost...or Madeline out of her room.

"She is haunting the room because of the traumatic way she died...and a part of her must still be on the grounds.  They never found her hands, they identified her with dental records."  Dean tries to pull Tazmania down to his lap so they could have this conversation at eye level, but she gracefully turns out of his one arm hold.

" 'Hands To Myself' was the song she put on before when I thought the power was wonky!"  If her office job didn't pan out, perhaps 'ghostbusting' would be a new career path for Tazmania.  She chuckles to herself, then notices that Dean has been staring at her.  He stands and strolls towards her like a jungle cat seeking prey.  She wants to move, but doesn't.
Dean didn't know what the song 'Hands to Myself' was, but he liked where Tazmania's head was at.  The way she smiled at herself proudly it made him want to kiss her, so that was what he was about to do.  He lifts her chin and kisses her like he was about to exorcise her mouth.  To his surprise she kissed him back just as passionately.
The tearing off and throwing of shirts happens followed by sharp cries of ecstasy as body parts are touched and rubbed on.

Later as they lay in bed in the afterglow, still breathing hard and both thinking that they didn't expect it to be that good.  Dean played in Tazmania's curly hair, as she lay there staring at the ceiling trying to come up with ways to have sex with Dean again yet not spend her whole trip with him.  She was in Miami and didn't wanna go all in with the first guy she meets- and woah did she go all in.

"Is this an essential part of ghostbusting?" She asks.

"Usually getting rid of the ghost is essential.  This is a perk."

"How does one rid themselves of a ghost?"

"We'll have to find her hands, and then salt and burn them."  He almost yanks out Tazmania's hair due to her sitting up so fast.

"Burn and salt...hands?!"

"Yep, and they are somewhere on this property, I say we start with the land by Raul Garcia's office...and start digging for them."

"The hands? You say 'we'?  How about you dig, shower and we go for round three or...four..."  She gives him a smile that makes him want to forget about the ghost.

"I'll need a little inspiration before I go though...."  They begin kissing again...and eventually Dean leaves the room long enough to retrieve Madeline Porters hands.

The End.

**Besides being HOT, Jensen Ackles aka Dean Winchester and my alter ego Tazmania Jones are fun to write for, so I may do more fanfic adventures with them!**
**Also my trip to Miami involved more alcohol and even less clothing! HOLLA!**

Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Thank You, Prince.

**I started this on Friday April 22nd and am able to finish it today.  I wish myself luck.**

This may have no rhyme or reason because Prince dying does not seem reasonable so just bear with me.

I honestly don't know what to write.
I could go into my introduction to Prince and how that changed the course of my life.  Hmmm, maybe not changed the course.  Just impacted me in such a way that his death felt like a family member- or like someone I knew and cared for had died.  It feels like a punch to the gut.  I feel raw and everything seems surreal.
Prince is my all time favorite artist.  His music has gotten me through this thing called life and all of its moments.  There is a comfort I find in his music and that I am able to LOVE him as a person too- even though I did not know him personally.
You see as enigmatic as he was, he was so genuinely him that you KNEW him.  Real recognize real.
Prince is the originator of 'no fux given'.  He planted those seeds in me that came into bloom as I evolved and grew.

Prince just seemed immortal.  He did not seem of this world because here he was one of the most talented people ever...yet he was generous and shared his gifts.
Like I had to sit and really comprehend that he is dead and I NEVER MET THE MAN.  I still don't think I get it though.

I am at a loss for words.  Usually when I write these... 'Cashmere obits' it is cathartic, but my feelings are so all over the place- and with all the disbelief (still), I am getting no comfort from this.
It has all been said a dozen times in a dozen ways.  All I can do is try to come to terms with this.

I created a playlist.  It is called 'Purple Reign'- I thought I was sooooo clever until I saw that about 15 other people have created mixtapes, dance mixes, etc. with the SAME name.
In any case, I felt good about it.  I have a whole bunch of his music on it- collabos, songs he's written and then artists that I feel he has influenced (well it should be everyone)- artists I feel he has listened to and was like 'word'.  I think my mix is bangin' and it definitely helps.
I can't listen to 'purple rain' though because that song always makes me cry...and in this instance I would be in a ball on the B train.  You can't show weakness in general, but ESPECIALLY on the NYC MTA.

I have posted blogs about Prince- this one and that one.
There may be more because it is obvious he is...was ...will remain a big part of my being.

Prince...*sigh*...I don't know what else to say.
Never forgotten...and thank you.

Monday, April 4, 2016

You Don't Know My Life: Nuttin' For Negan

It's not like I have even been watching The Walking Dead as thoroughly as usual this 'B season', but I made sure to check whenever Neegan would be introduced because Jeffrey Dean Morgan is playing him.
I may have mentioned before how I have a slight thing for that man- I realized it when I found myself watching the Hillary Swank romcom P.S. I Love You for the tenth time! It was a slow realization that I find  Sexy in that long conversation while drinking whisky and then the next thing you know you're getting pounded sorta way.
So there I am turning to TWD just in time to see Neegan's entrance and sexy JDM did NOT disappoint.  He makes a HORRIBLE character...just so damn easy to bone.
Or want to at least.
This may inspire some really INTERESTING fanfic courtesy of moi.  I am so intrigued by the fanfic phenomenon - have some things I'll be posting that will either make you laugh till it hurts OR realize just how deeply disturbed I am.

TWD may have me watching more consistently now with this new sexy addition...but I make no promises.

Wednesday, March 23, 2016

"I Like 'Em Brown, Yellow, Puerto Rican and Hatian"

One of my fondest memories of back when I was way cooler- actually, whenever I am deciding between wearing a blazer or a cardigan to work, I think about these moments.
Moments that define an era and have defined me.  Experiences I cherish and reinforce the magic of life.
Back when New York City was somewhat cool I wound up at this party in Soho.  You knew it was a cool party because you had to scurry down some stairs, and go through a nondescript door to a nondescript club and had to go through the bouncer that looked he was straight from a movie...where he is playing a bouncer.  I think I even had to say a password or something.  It was that serious!
The party was the typical cool NYC party- dark, celeb filled, people ACTUALLY danced and you knew if you were there you either knew the right people or looked good.  Or both.  I was there with friends yet I circled the room by myself at times.  During one of my lone wolf missions I came upon an area where Phife Dawg, QTip and a few others were standing in a cipher (check your hip hop dictionary if you don't know the meaning).  Lemme just say- Mark Ronson was throwing this party and when he wasn't DJing then Kid Rock was, and then DJ Red Alert was...and then Ali Shaheed Muhammad was!
While Ali Shaeed Muhammad was spinning 'Electric Relaxation', I found myself real close to this cipher as Phife and QTip were rapping along to their parts!  I felt butterflies in my tummy.  This would be a moment I would NEVER forget.  I knew I was blessed to be standing where I was at that very moment.  I mean A Tribe Called Quest is one of my favorite groups of all time (Top 5) and this was one of my favorite songs ever!!!!!!!

Phife Dawg died today and I feel that loss like I really knew him.  The sadness of getting older and therefore becoming more aware of your own mortality.  The inevitability of knowing nothing ever being the same. He'll live on in Tribe's amazing list of classic songs.  Songs that can almost be a reference guide to my youth.  Songs that if you have any type of soul you bop along to no matter WHAT!  Songs that are universal yet still so New York!

"You on point Phife? 
  All the time Tip"

RIP Phife

Friday, February 19, 2016

Nature, Kale or Magic?

I need to know what type of green juice sorcery is keeping Angela Bassett this FINE.  We know 'black doesn't crack' but this is beyond.  Angela is practically 60 and looks better than most chicks more than half her age...more importantly she looks better than me!
How is this happening?  Does she meditate on the regs and is less hateful than a wretch like me?  What kind of foods is she eating?  Does she sleep on sheets made of dolphin skin and pillows filled with fairy whispers??!!

I need to know!  I'm willing to follow whatever regime she is doing...unless it involves hours in the gym...or actually only drinking green juice...or not ever drinking milkshakes... Now if magics are involved, then I am down with that.  I have a strong amount of Native American blood so I feel inclined to spirituality and mother Earth n' shit.  I got this!

See this is why I cannot be her, but dammit imma try!

Friday, January 22, 2016

Dick Art

With so much heaviness in the world- it is just so HARD being woke!  Most people, places and things are problematic.
So, I try to lighten things up...and utilize my artistic skills by doing dick art with my coworker.  I go to his desk and draw a dick...and then he makes it something other than a dick.

I think we have something special going on- the last one was drawn on a company pad and I can't have yous knowing where I work n' shit.

Dick art promotes peace!

Thursday, January 7, 2016

The Fear; Best Life

Today is my moms 60th birthday!
Not only is it a milestone, it is a sigh of relief. Almost like my brain and heart feel like a weight has been lifted.
With my dad passing away three years ago- he passed in May and was to turn 60 that November-I have been wracked with a certain fear that I have kept to myself.  Something that sometimes keeps me up at night... a thing that goes through my mind on a loop when I go for long walks.
It is something that I have never said out loud.  It is something that I have burdened only myself with since my dad passed away...
The thing is...I was so scared to lose my mom.  Like losing one parent really instills that whole mortality lesson.  Then comes the part where you are looking at your other parent- the one you have always been closest too and the one you really don't know how you'd survive without- and you feel almost like a little child clinging to their leg crying:  please, please don't leave me.
I was just so afraid that my mom-who doesn't have the same heart issues my dad had- was not going to make it to 60.  I mean her mom didn't either.
As the days neared to her birthday I FINALLY realized that she, my mom, is not them and will be okay.  Then today came and I woke up smiling.
...I cried just now though because actually writing this out was a true release.  No more fear, just striving to give my mom the best life and to live my best life!

Monday, January 4, 2016

Cannot Make These Things Up...

Today has reached HIGH fisting levels.  It is a Monday- the Monday back from vacation- and it is COLD AS HELL.  It is like winter is finally saying 'take that, take that'!
For the most part I have just done my usual...stay in my lane and make fun of people.  Gotta laugh to keep from kicking people in the ankles.
Then this afternoon a moment that truly defines the day (and also the times we are in) happened.

Backstory: A month or so ago we fired one of our IT guys.  He happened to have been Asian.  Due to his personality and the whole IT thing they put his pic up at the building security desk.

Flash forward to now- we have hired a graphic designer for our marketing department who shares a passing resemblance to the fired IT guy.  To be clear they are both Asian- but that is NOT the reason they share a passing resemblance. They have a similar hairstyle, dress style, height, etc.
My department is in charge of getting new employees their ID cards so when security brings it up they are giving them either to me or my coworker.  This new security dude we call Old Man River II- Old Man River I apparently 'moved on'.  It took me a week to confirm that he is STILL ALIVE.  These dudes are OLD.  Like I make conversations quick because I cannot deal if they died on my watch!
Anyways, Old Man River II rolls up with the new dudes ID....and is holding a pic of the fired IT guy....because he wanted to confirm they we did NOT HIRE THE SAME GUY AGAIN or were fooled by some new fangled plastic surgery!!!

As my coworker was telling me this I was yelling at her to stop her LIES! Then we both said that was some of the most racist shit we encountered TODAY. Ha!  It's only Monday though...