Monday, July 29, 2013

You Don't Know My Life: Hoodie Holder Tears AKA When Linden Became Human

OH MAN!!!
The Killing is just perfection!  When you can truly love some complex sometimes hateful characters- I mean LOVE them- that is a testament to fine acting and a well written show.
When Holder found out that his homie Bullet was dead...I mean...he made you feel all of the sadness, regret, frustration...
Just knowing that they had fought and he could've taken her last call- whew.  Then in all them emotions he tried to kiss Linden- who was actually trying to comfort him in a non robotic, human way!  She of course didn't allow the kiss because she understood where it was coming from, and though she has banged partners in the past, she knows that Holder is SPECIAL (also, MINE bitch!).
The almost kiss was a awkward as the characters are together at times...but they still have AMAZING chemistry.  I find them to be soul mates but not of the mating kind.

So Bullet's death leads to them finding all the rings (of the dead girls) and linking them to this one dude who is not going to be the killer...OR he is not the only one.  I am still sticking with the killer (or other killer) being Mitchum Huntsberger (Gilmore Girls, sticking to calling characters by their names from the shows they were on that I love) aka Holders OTHER partner that Holder decided to punch instead of kiss.  Mitchum never mentioned how Bullet was looking for Holder hardcore...because she knew who the killer was...and was killed before she could tell Holder.
It's leading up to Holder and Linden figuring out that someone on the force is involved in these killings thus proving my Mitchum Huntsberger theory.
I stays winning.

Now we know aside from solving these murders, Linden is also trying to get Peter Sarsgard off death row because she realizes he may have not killed his wife-...
I just need a moment.
You see, I never paid no nevermind to Peter Sarsgard...but his performance on this show has put him on my radar!  He is a superb actor!  If he doesn't win an MTV Award, NAACP Award, Emmy, TONY...GIVE HIM ALL THE AWARDS.  Last nights episode alone...my stomach was in knots.  Here is this character who is wretched, yet he was STILL redeemable and you understand why Linden was fighting so hard...besides it being the right thing.  This dude fucked with her...and could be the WORST, but P.Sars made you LIKE HIM...and not want to see him hung.
Also, I have a theory that P.Sars son on the show is the real killer of the mom- me thinks lil homie is disturbed (explaining Lindens natural instinct to be cool with lil homie) and didn't like that moms was out ho-ing so he killed her (much like the prison guards son shooting his moms lover SEE!).  In keeping with my theory- this would make P.Sars character damn near LOVABLE and it would also explain why he would be willing to die for a crime he didn't commit.  Also why he was being so evasive about it.
Last nights episode made me just appreciate Linden and her 'still waters runs deep' ways.
How can ANYONE question my love for Holder when he threatens to kiss her again to prove a point after speaking some truth to her.  This is why I LOVE HIM.  Love him more that Fitz from Scandal.  I just love Holder- he is helping White dudes everywhere because there was no hope for them due to recent events...but Holder makes them almost feasible and doable.

Next week is the 2 hour season finale and then I am going to BE SAD till Scandal and Walking Dead are back....but really, The Killing, this has been a fantastic season.
Brava!

Friday, July 26, 2013

As The Online Dating World Turns: The Giver and The Gentleman

This was waiting for me in my message box one day by some dude named the_artista (strike one):

can a man simply ask a woman for sex, if he is everything she wants him to be?

 Without much thought or consideration, I wrote back:

Fuck. Off.

 Normally I wouldn't respond to something like this, but I was in a mood.  He of course wrote back proving that he was also a 'last word bitch' adding to his already unattractive profile:

F*ck ... nah, looks like you need it
 *sigh* *swoon*  Look at this lovely gentleman knowing my life!  I wasn't done just yet with this artist of my heart n' loins.  I wanted to give some sound advice...advice Kevin Hart would approve of:

Kill yourself. 

 I have been told I give GREAT advice.  Though I was being a jerk, I felt it gave the dude a clue as to why he should stop writing me.  He didn't: 

... Oh word, {my age-sorry bitches it shall remain a mystery unless you already know} / single woman, and can't get a man? In a city of millions. So much you have to offer
f*u b*tch 

Wow.  He went there. He sure told me! 
After chuckling a bit, I grew weary of this interaction because...really...dude isn't on my level and not even fun to have a hate exchange with. I was bored and done and decided that after I wrote this I would no longer care what he wrote me.  This exchange had run its course and I was ready to go back to not going on dates and emailing with dudes who wanna be penpals.  I felt because the_artista was SUCH a gentleman, I owed him one last bit of my wonderful way with words:

I do have a lot to offer to men- not dickless asshats who act all tough via the computer.
Here's an idea- stop writing me and go have sex with some young woman who has a lot to offer. Maybe she'll let you have sex with her and you won't have to rape her or anything.  

With  that I dropped the proverbial mic and felt like going for a walk.
Though this wasn't encouraging, it didn't make me rage out or anything.  Have not deleted my account AND I feel that the online thing is making my 'real' life take on men more satisfying.  Satisfying because I speak more and try to flirt without saying fucked up things- babysteps.   Will see where this gets me...

 

Thursday, July 25, 2013

The Time I Went To See Many Movies In A Short Period Of Time

I guess I should call summer of 2013 the summer of MANY MOVIES!!!  I usually NEVER see movies (because I am a broke bitch), but this summer I have wanted to see everything- well almost everything.
I am basically making it RAIN on them walking candy and popcorn dudes.
...but hey, summer is HOT and movie theaters have AC's.

When I went to see Kevin Hart's Let Me Explain it was a HOT day.  I knew I would shed pounds from laughter and sweating post laughter.  We all know that Kevin had to grow on me...(hahahah funny for many reasons but mostly cuz he's short) and once he did, I have been TEAM KEVIN HART.  His delivery is just hilarious.  He also comes from the school of comedy I believe in- speak your truth!  Your outlook is way more interesting than saying what people want to hear or what makes them comfortable.  Unless you are BORING AS FUCK in which case you should KILL YOURSELF (a la Kevin Hart).
The movie was too funny and I find myself saying 'Jesus take the wheel' and 'bum bumps' all the time!!!!

Then I went to see World War Z.  I read the book so I had HIGH expectations.  What I got instead was Brad Pitt...being Bradd Pitt, zombies on molly, Detective Linden (The Killing)  just standing around kissing kids and a movie that had NOTHING TO DO WITH THE BOOK!!!
The book was fantastic.  The movie was just ... it should have been called Fast Zombies vs. Brad Pitt With His Hair.
Whatevs.  Go see if its hot and you are down with summer blockbusters.


.....man, I went to see Fruitvale Station during the worst possible week!  It was the week where the Trayvon verdict came in and Black people...and the world were reminded that America doesn't give a FUCK about us and that racism didn't breathe its last breath when Obama was elected into office...
THIS MOVIE!  To say I was crying-whimpering really like a baby, would be the TRUTH.
When I wasn't feeling emotional and connected to many things...I was feeling warm in my loin parts for Michael B. Jordan.  Such a cutie...


This story is one we've seen too many times-cops shooting unarmed Black men or using excessive force.....
Just go to see this movie.  It is important.  Go into it seeing Black men as human beings- not these mythical fear causing creatures that deserve to be shot and have their dreams wiped out.  Leaving families to mourn and me to listen to a LOT of Kanye and walk around punching the air and ice grilling peeps.
GO SEE FRUITVALE STATION!

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Just So Many Thoughts And Emotions....

 I just have a lot of feelings.
I don't even know what to write....or say that hasn't been said before- once even by me...about race.  I have read and seen so many profound things these last few days...am just overwhelmed.

Just read this and watch this to really see where my heads at.


Thursday, July 11, 2013

As The (Online) Dating World Turns: Back In The Saddle In The Sun

OMG it has only been 2 weeks and I am READY to sign off of online dating!
It's not that it has been brimming with freaks and possible skin stealers- it's just that it is a lot of work!  First I have to care, then read a profile, then write back, then care some more...whew.
The whole dating thing is just fucked anyways.  Dudes think chilvary is going 'dutch' and then  texting you the day of to meet up.  Then they want you to plan everything. 
Really?...Come on!  I mean I got this, but dude try the whole making the effort thing.  I promise to bring my smashing personality and good looks, and you plan a date.  It's simple.

Anywho, so I start emailing with this dude who remembers me from before I signed off.  I think he wrote me then...but I killed that account.  He emails me and its cool.  Immediately he's like: let's meet up.
Good.  I was booked the weekend (it happens) so I opted for during the week.  He said he would text me the MORNING OF the day we were meeting up.
Normally this would've had me saying: fuck off!- BUT I am trying to be easy...and just date and not punch shit.
So I said: fine.  He texts me that an area near my job is good and that he will bike there so he may be sweaty.
Awww.
He then added that he would text me at 5PM for a 6:30PM meet-up.
I really am so proud at the way I was just so easy breezy with this.  I believe I text back a: cool.  People, I am an evolving asshole.  Evolving.
There I am being all 'easy breezy' but then still maintaining my normal demeanor.  5PM comes around and I don't hear from the dude.  5:15...still no word.  I decide that if I don't hear from dude by 5:30, imma send a nice 'fuck off' text.
At 5:31 I let him know that I am in some far off part of Brooklyn and can no longer meet.  I tell him to have a good night...and say GOOD LUCK.  Hey, remember I have EVOLVED.
This bitch doesn't write me back till 6PM.
Here's the thing, I get that we are in some different times.  Times where peeps are just about whatever and communication is chock full of emoji's and twerking, but I am NOT 16 nor am I 22.  If you want to meet up HAVE A PLAN.  THEN FILL ME IN ON THAT PLAN AND THEN FOLLOW-THROUGH ON THAT PLAN!  It is really that simple.  Respect my time and my life and I will do the same for you.
Needless to say, it was no sweat off my balls...it's just another added bonus of dating in these times.  I think this all goes along the lines of dudes thinking 'they have it like that' but they gonna learn today!  I mean, this dude read my amazing profile and saw my photos.  Even if I do plan on getting many cats, I don't need to put up with the bullshit...so I won't.

Another amazing trend that has me leaning more towards a cardboard cut-out of President Obama- you know, just having someone I can talk to.  He'll be supportive and very successful.  He'll be mine and he won't talk back.
Anywho, dudes have straight bitchified themselves.  A friend of mine who is also back on the online dating scene, has come in contact with dudes who are very concerned about the weather.  These dudes will literally text her with things like: it's too hot out, let's go out some other time OR I think it's gonna rain and I don't wanna get caught in the rain because my shoes will get wet....
WORD? 
Have dudes been listening to Drake too much? Or maybe the hormones in food have caused them to get their period or something?- Actually scratch that because having a period aka being a WOMAN does not a bitchified trick make.  I don't mind if it's hot...um...IT'S FUCKIN' SUMMER!!  Though I do share a concern for ruining my shoes, I am supposed to for I am a WOMAN (Ha!Ha! Double standard working for me).
What the fuck is going on?  I need some answers.  Why are dudes concerned with the weather?  Be comprehensive with these answers because I am already leaning towards: yous a bitch.

Ugh.  I cannot sign off this soon.  At least I seem to be raking them in....well the 50 year olds.
Someone kick me in my vagina.


Wednesday, July 10, 2013

You Don't Know My Life: The Killing Season 3...Not Season 2



So I guess I was confused as to what season of The Killing we were on.  Didn't realize the Rosie Larson murder took 2 seasons!
The writers now seem to wanna solve this case in one season...though I could be wrong.  I mean, I have been thinking the pastor dude who runs the runaway house seemed shady- because most people who seem like saints are really the WORST- but who knows, it may not be him...it may be Holder's partner with the receding hairline. 
Ugh the agony.
The show is so dark and good.  Delicious like a chocolate molten cake. Molten cake that wants to rape you and take one of your fingers...
I mean the show could be dark and depressing but because it leans towards developing amazing characters, you tend to not get depressed.  I always compare it to reading a good book because it stays adding layers pulling you deeper and deeper.

Two things I am really excited about with this show:

1) Peter Skarsgard (sp) is amazing!!  First I was caught up in his creepy factor, but I 've seen passed that and now enjoy what an amazing actor he is.  He makes me care about him yet still be scared to alone with him.

2) My boo Holder is back to wearing hoodies.  I love my man in a suit, but Hoodies Holder is the one I fell in love with.  The one who made sushi and talked about running trap.  I think Holder is starting to realize that THAT is his secret power- the hoodie!  It allows him to be amongst the 'regular low life joes' yet do his job.  Linden's super power is being slightly autistic and awkward.  Also, her sweater and ponytail. 

Overall, I am enjoying the shows pace but am afraid to commit to a murderer.  I also like that I don't have to see m'boo Holder make out with his 'girlfriend'...dude even forgot it was Valentines Day, so I am still in there!

Monday, July 8, 2013

Have I Mentioned: Stylewise THE TAKEBACK!

Remember when I threw Miley Cyrus on my list of  peeps who's style I am digging?  Well I am taking it BACK!
Basically Miley is just stealing from Rihanna.

Exhibit A.

Upon further research I found that in all the outfits I liked on Miley, Rihanna did it first!  Ugh.  Then Miley came out with some video where she is 'thuggin' out and just using colored folk as props- I cannot with her anymore!  She was on thin ice as  is because I generally don't like her, but I am on this whole being open minded thing (we'll see how long this lasts).  Just trying to let a ho be a ho and a talentless hobag have a moment- but NOT when that moment is stealing from someone else.  We ALL know I gave zero fucks about Rihanna but that bitch has grown on me (being open minded).  She gives less fuck than I do, she is eloquently hateful AND her style is bananas!!

Miley officially went off my radar when she was quoted talking about how she has an inner Lil Kim and named some other Black rapper as being inside her and the reason for her new 'urban-ness' and 'thuggery'.  It's funny cuz when she did that damned song "Party In The USA" (damned because that shit was catchy and I know the words and may bop to it) where she mentions a Jay Z song coming on- she said she didn't really know who Jay -Z was.  I found this shocking because she is a 'musician' and now even MORE shocking because she has all these other hip hop Negroes 'inside' her yet she wasn't familiar with Jay Z??!!
Some flagrant poser-ness going on and I cannot abide it.  So fuck off Miley Cyrus.
Rihanna, you my girl and I loves your style.  So sorry I didn't have you on the original list...but I have a feeling you won't lose sleep over that.

I must've been on some type of Molly-Fro yo- Gluten free trip because I had the nerve to mention STYLE and not mention Solange Knowles.  We all know I love her more than I could ever hate Beyonce`.  She is a style icon if I gave more of a fuck.  She is cool, unique and just... a person I would have brunch with and then go play Wii at Common's house or something.  That next level chill.

So I trade in one awful Miley for one amazing Rihanna and one fantastical Solange! #PourItUpBitches



Monday, July 1, 2013

The Time I Went To See This Is The End & Superman by Me



We know when I pay to see a movie, I must really want to see it.  That or I forget to see a movie...which is what may happen with Joss Whedon's reprisal of 'Much Ado About Nothing'- in any case I really wanted to see This Is The End and Superman  (though it may be called Man of Steel...so I did.
Both movies appealed to different facets of my being.  The action-adventure side, the nerdy side, the enjoy-er of hot dudes side, the humorous side- I am multi-faceted.
This Is End was done by the same peeps who did Superbad, one of my favorite movies.  I expected the movie to be funny, but I didn't expect to be hurting from laughter...like HURTING.  I was cry laughing and hunched over...it was great.
Alls I have to say is just: Michael Cera (above pic) and Channing Scrotum (Tatum).  That is it.  I am done.
Also, Jame Franco is a complete douche, but I would so do him with the lights on.  There is just something about him.  He appeals to my loins.


Go see this film if you like to laugh and you don't suck.

As for Superman....whew.  Well I kept hearing mixed reviews about the movie, but knew I had to see it for myself because Christopher Nolan produced it and Henry Cavill is fine as hell.  I knew even if it SUCKED, I would be looking at Cavill for 2 hours and I was okay with that.
I am so-so about the movie.  I get that they are building a new Superman franchise, but the storyline either lacked or jumped too far where it was unbelievable.  Like I am supposed to believe that Lois Lane would get on some random alien ship for some dude she just met and he ain't even put it in??!!
I mean he fine though...

....but I dunno about getting on alien ships unless he puts at least the tip in.  Doesn't even have to be a full bang-out...just the tip!
Henry Cavill is a problem though....





Go see these film if you want to start fresh with Superman, you like total destruction and you wouldn't mind banging out Henry Cavill- even if you're a straight dude or a lesbian!