Thursday, November 22, 2012

Giving Thanks 2012

On this day, as I switch between watching the Godfather and The Chew, and deal with all the delicious smells without chewing my arm off...I am left to reflect on all the things I am thankful for.
We know 2012 has been a muthfucka!-but even in its fistiest of moments (the act of being fisted numerous times with NO LUBE), there have been moments that have reinforced my hope for humanity and myself.  Perhaps I am not THEE most offensive hater in the game because I have some amazing people in my life.

The year was a lesson on loss n' gain.  It proved though, that what you have and what you have gained  outweigh everything!
So....I am thankful to my family, my friends- even the ones I am no longer friends with because they have taught me a lot (like how more awesome I am, hahahah I kid).  I am thankful for the internets for providing me with entertainment and some of the new music that came out.  I am thankful for Bon Chon chicken and wheatgrass powder.  I am thankful for the show The Walking Dead for teaching me how to survive and for Scandal for showing that I do not speak the fastest.
I am just thankful for so many things.  I am thankful for the people who read my writings and get something...anything out of it, if I have helped you because of it, I am thankful for that.

"...I just have all these feelings..." (from the movie Mean Girls)

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Real Talk: Zombie Rats

Shit is real.
2012 has been a really real year.

The zombie apocalypse is coming!  Hurricane Sandy not only killed Karma (Jersey Shore club), it killed rats.  With the flooding of sewers and subway systems, millions of dead, floating rats!  Remember when rats brought about THE PLAGUE.  Well now they are going to bring about the Z virus and the zombies will be tearing the meat from our limbs.
...well not from my limbs because I plan on taking myself out.  I realize that though I am strong, awesome, a person who should survive because people need me- but I know myself.  I don't have the capacity to live through/survive a zombie apocalypse.  Just don't.  The running around, the smells, the fear...I want to worry about manicures and the next episode of Scandal- seriously why do I find Tony Goldwyn so attractive!  In Ghost (movie) I was like-nah.  Now, I am like T.Golds can GET IT...Presidential Style!

This all won't matter though because we will all be eaten by zombies.