Tuesday, November 26, 2013

You Don't Know My Life: The One Eyed Pu**y Bandit is BAAAAAAACK!

I am just overwhelmed with thoughts.
The Walking Dead and Scandal have given me jaw ticks and have MADE MY LIFE!..They have even combined to make Scandal Dead-remember the time #MamaPope chewed through her wrists to get put in the infirmary so that she could then escape and finally see her babygirl after 20 years??!!!
Am getting ahead of myself though...

Let's start with The Walking Dead...
SO, Glenn ALMOST died and Hershel saved the day and proved how he is an amazing character...but is going to be killed.  I say this because THE GOVERNOR IS BACK BITCHES and sure he wants Michonne, but Hershel is gonna get caught in the crossfire.  Sad and true (in my head)!
Then ALL the zombies broke the gates to the prison so Rick and Carl got ta shootin'!  They bonded and Rick looked at Carl like: you know boy, you ain't got one bit of bitch in ya and yous a good shot.  (that is my attempt at writing for a Southern character)  It was a feel good moment.
With all the drama, Rick hasn't had time to tell peeps (besides Maggie) that he sent Activia (Carol) away...and when he was supposed to tell Poncho Realness (aka Daryl), he decided eat edamame with Carl instead.

Phillip/Brian/The One Eyed Pussy Bandit is BACK suckas and he was fittin' to change.  The Governor realized he may have gone bit cray with the killing n' shit so he decides to pretty much kill himself, but then he sees  a lil girl and that all changes!
It was great seeing his back story n' all, but I still don't get how chicks are so quick to give him the 'nani?!  Maybe it's that psychopath charisma or something.  I dunno.
Anywho, so originally The Governor had two sidekicks- the Black dude and the Spanish dude.  They eventually leave him and then The Governor goes on a 'kill myself' journey.  After finding hope again by acquiring himself another family- which includes a spunky lil lesbian sister- The One Eyed Pussy Bandit runs into the Spanish dude aka Martinez again.  Martinez being the dumb ass he is, doesn't sell The Governor out and takes him into the camp he's running....
I'm going to get a tad deep here folks.
There is a certain psychology going on here.  A psychology that is deep within colored folks who no matter WHAT will 'serve'/oblige their White counterpart- sometimes even above their colored counterparts.  Sure, we're in a whole new world here with the zombie apocalypse, but you mean to tell me that Martinez didn't watch The One Eyed Pussy Bandit shoot up all 'their people' and not feel some type of way?
Even in a world where the rules bend, this was just not a good thing.  Which leads me to think that when Martinez had a choice on whether or not to shoot The Governor in a pit, and chose to not only not shoot him, he hides who he really is AND THEN offers to make him co-leader of the new camp...
WTF?!  That's that 'White is right' psychology right there...
OR Martinez isn't the best person or the smartest, and didn't find too much wrong with killing  a bunch of his people and thought he was helping an old buddy hide his psychopath life.  So he basically made his death wish!  Which The Governor fulfilled by hitting him on the head with a golf club and then dragging him into a ditch filled with zombies- one of the BEST killings on that show by the way!

Now through a series of killings, The Governor is now the leader of Martinez's camp and now he wants to go back to the prison and take over Rick's camp.  *sigh*  Back to square one.  Another turf war where many will die and prolonging some hot swirly sex between Daryl and Michonne.
That would've been an amazing segue into Scandal but this is just so long I will write about Scandal tomorrow.  Promise!

This weekend is the mid-season finale and then I think the show doesn't come back till January or February...BLEAH.  My only prediction is that Hershel will die and my only wish is for swirly sex.


Monday, November 25, 2013

Foibles & Fuckery


Some fuckshit is abound!
First, a couple of weekends ago I found myself watching the dreadful J-Lo film The Backup Plan (on cable).  It wasn't that I intended to watch the film; it was another moment when the remote was out of my reach.  So there I am watching this movie about a 40 year old woman who gets artificially inseminated with some strangers twins BUT as fate would have it she meets the man of her dreams who she really wants to drop the seed in her.  The unfortunate dude aka dreamboat aka Alex O'Loughlin became another reason I didn't turn from this HORRIBLE movie.
Eventually though, I DID turn from the movie because I was just so ANGRY about the plot and J-Lo's acting makes me seethe!
Some ultimate fuckshit, but Mr. O'Laughlin can get it many times and then a few times more.


Then I hear J-Lo was part of some tribute to Celia Cruz on the American Music Awards?!!  Did they just scan MTV Mundo to find Latin acts??  HOW DARE they spit upon Celia's legacy!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Along with that travesty I hear Miley sang with kittens, GaGa and Kells are continuing to perform awfully and awkwardly together- like they make me squint and make me VERY uncomfortable.  Kinda like whenever Miley is onstage and I can ALMOST see her labia!
Then...THEN Rihanna decided to show up in a 'doobie'?!  Like for real?!  We all know I appreciate her 'I don't give a fuck' personality-but COME ON!  Here you are winning an ICON award (for what?) when you barely have a talent, basically the bitch just looks really good.  We all know and accept this.  So how you gonna roll into this award show WITH YOUR MOMS presenting you with an award with your hair NOT EVEN DONE?
What part of the game is this?
Now every mediocre trick that thinks she's Rihanna is gonna think that 'doobie' look is the way to go. Ugh.  Next up CURLERS or soda cans (Dominicans).  Ugh.

...here I am getting all worked up like I actually watched the awards, like I gave a fuck. HAHAHHAHAHAHAH there is irony in this...


Friday, November 22, 2013

Over It

Oh man, the month is almost over and I have written only ONE blog entry.  No bueno.
You know how life goes in cycles with its ups and downs...very little in betweens.  Needless to say, I have been doing a lot of reflecting and maintenance of my mental game.
I am no longer at the job I was at before- which wasn't an issue as I knew it would come to an end as most shitty things to.  So I went through the whole 'looking for a job' thing WHILE thinking about what would've been my dad's 60th birthday which led me to thinking about why most of my family sucks which then led me to thinking about my mortality and legacy.
Just a lot.
Time in the deep has led me to realizing that I am REALLY not an online dater and my friends are just fantastic people.  My immediate family has taught me the strength of riding out the rough patches as well.  #DaRuffStuff
 I have also learned that I am just so excellent at Candy Crush- it's the little things.

As of right now, I am better and working and just ready for 2014 to bring on the good stuff- can you even BELIEVE this year is just about over.  The holidays are here-including my fave THANKSGIVING!!  Though the city is almost poetic during the holidays.  There's a hopefulness in the air.

In random news, I was in a Nook commercial.  Do what you will with it.  Touch yourself, kill yourself or bask in my GLORIOUSNESS.


Saturday, November 2, 2013

You Don't Know My Life: Fucked!!

So far this season of The Walking Dead has reinforced my new theory on taking myself out in the beginning of a zombie apocalypse.  By taking myself out, I mean I would totally kill myself.  There is no way I would or would want to survive.
Between the running for your life, treacherous people, the filth AND the smells...and I haven't even mentioned ZOMBIES!  That is enough for me to be like...nah.
Then you can get a cold and DIE- I am not surprised you have peeps dying from the flu on the show.  All them peeps-including KIDS, in closed quarters.  Just a recipe for death.
So yeah...I am not about that survival life.
I AM about Rick finally coming out of the emo fog he was in and getting back to basics.  Punching things and people, and shooting things and people.
Activia aka Carol is about that problem solving life.  I like that she has grown cajones-and just takes care of bi'ness...it almost makes it OKAY for her to bone Daryllll aka Poncho Realness, but now that I have seen the chemistry between Michonne and Poncho Realness, I want them together.  Sure she and Rick would be cool too, but Michonne would break him again because Rick is only 1 cheating whore wife away from seeing ghosts and farming again.
With all this death and sickness...and someone luring the zombies to the jail- characters are starting to buck the fuck up and stop writing poetry and singing around camp fires!  Where last years theme was about who's worse: people or zombies?  This years theme is: are we fighting to live or just surviving?- Like Maggie trying to get preggers with Glenn's baby!  What kind of bullshit is that?!  Times are different bitch..and it is all about surviving!  Life as you know it will be VERY different, now go out there and kill some zombies!
THANK HAY-SUS Tyrese was able to sample the brief love of a White woman- the empowering love it seems.  A love that has shaken all the bitch out of him and made him stop whimpering about like some moody hippy- I am not about this killing anything life.  Really dude?  You see what's been going on?  Then his beloved White woman gets burned to death (thanks Activia, bitch had to go because she was sick and coughing er'where) and Tyrese is now just axing through shittons of zombies! YEAH!

Seems to be a slow build up (this season), getting all our characters in line for something BIG.  Have a feeling it's about to be on.  Though if they kill Glenn off with this flu I'm not going to be happy with the rest of this season...also if Daryll doesn't spread out his luscious poncho in an abandoned cell and show Michonne that he can shoot more than his arrow...then imma be real upset with this season.