Thursday, July 2, 2015

Just Go With It

There is this consultant I.T. dude at my job who comes in occasionally.  I call him Darryl (Walking Dead) because of his bad hipster/ zombie-apocalypse haircut.  He didn't offend me initially because he replaced this other dude that looked like Cleveland Jr.  - and it wasn't a looks thing cuz that shit was amusing, it was the fact that HE COULDN'T DO ANYTHING I.T. RELATED!
So Darryl is here now...occasionally.  I barely noticed Darryl until he stared...no LEERED at me and a coworker (separately).  Like we were a craft beer or something.
I still gave nil o' fucks about Darryl...THEN I hear him telling my coworker how he is going to gallivant around Europe next week.  Go back HOME to LONDON and then see D'Angelo in Belgium because D'Angelo is his FAVE.
WHAT?!
The D'Angelo thing is whatever..because D'Angelo is amazing.
...but homeboy grew up in LONDON?!  He obviously does NOT have an accent or I woulda began and ended this post about how much I wanna bone Darryl.  #HateBone2015
Darryl is not atrocious looking BUT he would look so much better with an accent...or at least he would amuse me with the accent.  He has the face and tatts of someone needing an accent to really ensure he always has a bird bouncing on his banger!
I am awesome, I know.
Instead he has incensed me by not having an accent and therefore annoying me with his existence.  He also wears too tight a slack and gives me attitude.
May he choke on a vat of un-organic dicks!

Summer Movies Pt 2

Ugh, I am SUCH a Gemini sometimes.  I do that thing where I start something and then get so caught up in LIFE I leave my 3 readers HANGING!
If you have been anywhere near the internets or a TV, you know that shit has been REAL...add that to life things and it has left me more in my head and unable to express ALL the thoughts.  I am just trying to process things while taking care of myself so that I don't become bitter n' hateful in a non-conducive to life kinda way...
In any case, here are more summer movies that are coming out and my reviews/thoughts on them- since I do NOT have time for that (and lost my list of movies), I will not have the trailers n' shit.
Just go with it...


Dope:
I wanted to see Dope and by chance I DID!  It was fantastic!  Go see this movie!  I thought it was going to be some long Pharrell-esque commercial about the right way for black dudes to wear cropped skinny jeans...but it wasn't that!  It was a great story with an even better soundtrack.  **SPOILER ALERT** Plus Tyga gets shot so it was all win win for me!!!

Terminator Genisys:
#nope
I am never seeing this movie.  Fuck this movie.  How is Arnold Schwarzenegger in it?!  Robots don't age- and I don't even wanna KNOW how they explain that shit.  My Terminator movies involve a young Eddie Furlong and a stacked Linda Hamilton.
This new crap is nonsense.

Jurassic World:
Like I want to see this...but I keep hearing things.  Bad things. Movies cost about the same as a good H&M outfit sooooooo....
Initially, I was down to see a bunch white people get eaten by dinosaurs because they would be the ONLY ones going to some island that boasted their attraction was LIVE dinosaurs!  INCLUDING some genetically designed one that seems like it will eat you then find your moms and eat her too!
....but I heard that black peeps are on the island as well, and yes I know a few of 'us' get caught up in having diverse friends and wearing Toms n' shit, but COME ON!
So now I highly doubt I'll be going to see this...or at least paying to go see this #SummerDatingSchemes

Magic Mike XXL:
Listen, I saw the first Magic Mike and was surprised by how much I enjoyed it.  Also, a miracle happened- I found Channing Scrotum attractive...well not his face, but his bod and the way that bod MOVES!
I don't have enough fucks to muster to see this sequel.  The commercial did NOTHING for me.  Even with Donald Glover being in it....I still...nope...can't muster a fuck.


The rest of the summer movies I just can't...but I do wanna see Trainwreck and I am going to see Amy aka the Amy Winehouse doc because AMY! 
 Will try to spend the summer out of the darkness...and in my low lit apartment watching Netflix or Lifetime movies instead. Ha!