Sunday, November 27, 2011

As The Online Dating World Turns: Acceptance

I sit here full of good cheer and oyster stuffing, and feeling rather reflective. A month ago I decided to sign back onto online dating because...why not?
We know my reasoning involves: me sharing my fabulousness with someone deserving and special, answering the age old question of why I am single, putting myself out there because I'd rather not, AND excellent blogging material.
This time would be different and less 'ride or die' because I have accepted that I may never marry or have kids and that is OKAY. NOT everyone is meant to do it and it won't make my life any less fulfilling- I am NOT saying that I don't want these things, but I just won't beat myself up about it or feel a certain way.
I'll allow others to feel a certain way, and they will, and I will choose not to give a fuck.

In any case, I am back online. Of course, the first week I am bamboozled by weirdos, maybe 1 guy with potential. We emailed a few times and then nothing. I figured he has seen my amazing personality and my...um, BEAUTY...so he should suggest a hang out or something.
Very traditional for me, I know, but I am feeling lazy and just like...whatevs. Plus, let him ask...he'll feel better about it.
So this became a trend. Dudes and I just writing..or saying a few choice things- that's if I responded. You see, I learned to NOT respond if the dude was creepy, disgusting or seemed like he dipped his shaved ballsac in Aramis cologne.
Not responding will keep me from shutting down my account and therefore having my friends look at me with knowing looks- knowing that I should maybe turn to an aggressive lesbot.
Then I started getting messages from dudes who were like: I know you wouldn't be into me, but I had to write you anyway because you seem great and are so good looking.
Really?! That is not attractive! Also, you won't make me question my shallowness or prove that I am some great person by chatting with you.
Let's be real- I am a profound asshole, a great person, but an asshole with nothing to prove! So no, I will not message you back out of sympathy. Fuck it. I have no time for bitches!

As you can see, this will be a very interesting winter.

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