Saturday, November 12, 2011

Dicked. Down.

Usually when a woman as sexy and amazing as myself goes 'missing' both physically and mentally, people usually think it involves getting deeply dicked.
This is ME though, so that is sadly not the case.
It's not that I can't get it, it just has to be right and not creepy, bitch-made, an asshat, typical dick, etc.
...anyways, my absence stems from just A LOT OF SHIT going on all at once. Since stress isn't healthy and I was feeling stresses I decided to take stock of my situation. Why am I feeling overwhelmed, what would have to be eliminated or am I just being a flaky twat (which if you think about it is really gross).

Though I needed to sac up and get my shit done on my terms, I also needed to place less importance in certain people.
I have this thing- you may have noticed it with the dudes I like. You know the dudes who could really give a FUCK about me. It's not my low self esteem that causes me to like these champs (sarcasm for dumbasses), it's my lack of knowing what I want or thinking I want something that really isn't the case- meaning I let my imagination create the fine idea of these dudes instead of who they are in reality. Which isn't always fuckable.
I kinda do the same thing with people, even ones who aren't dumbasses. I place importance in them or situations when they could really give a fuck. Sometimes they don't even like me but keep me around because I am awesome- which I can understand because I am awesome, but dude come on. I have like many people who are awesome and I am awesome and we are awesome together so fuck you. That is you in the plural.

All this 'adjusting' has led to me not writing ANYTHING but blurbs. I have literally tried to write awesome blogs but could only get 2 sentences out.
Sad times....

A few things I am working on and need to share-

holiday seasonal thoughts!

am back on to online dating!

I have given someone one of my funny nicknames where they don't know I call them this and now I cannot remember their real name!


Epiphany crush where I realized that I have had a crush on someone for years but never realized it till like 3 months ago.

I turned to B one day and said that I was still sad about Amy Winehouse being dead. Like a deep sadness.

My cat (not my vagina) has been sick and it has almost been too much.

There is a psychology to being thinner-and I wasn't obese and didn't even know how overweight I was till I lost weight. Crazy times.

...and much more! Have a lot of catching up to do. Also, during a long walk today I had some amazing writing ideas.

Guess who's bizzack!!

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