Thursday, September 15, 2011

Good Things I Have Put In My Mouth Lately- Meat.Butter.

Though not excited about having to venture to Williamsburg, Brooklyn AKA land of various rape scenes and bedbugs, and filled with people I mostly hate (except the ones I don't)- I ventured to Fatty 'Cue. I went because I was invited by Ru and for him, I'll go.
Listen, you give me good company and promise me good food- I.Am.There.
So off I go. Off the L train and up Bedford Avenue. Not punching the various peeps I wanted to punch, just listening to some Adele and Salt n' Pepa and making my way. Even stumbled upon Boricua College (THIS EXISTS)...mostly cuz I stumbled in the wrong direction. May take a course there and hopefully not be impregnated (because my thighs and Latin dudes = insta-germination).

Anyways, I get there and wait in front for the gang to arrive...suddenly he appears. Falcide (Fake Alicide from True Blood). He is a waiter and there is a seating area outside of the restaraunt too.
Our eyes meet and there was twinkling and smiles. I almost drop my phone-and also forget about Ru who called me all lost...
After a few 'eye dances', he smiles and says 'hello'. I smile and mumble something-then I buck up and ask about our reservation and if anyone else is here. He does a thorough search letting me know I am the first one there and our table is ready. Awesome.
Let me describe him...he looks like Alcide from TrueBlood except with shorter hair! The same height, build- this dude was wearing a Mets shirt (which made me smirk). He had tatts-and not asshole tatts, dude tatts. His lips were ridiculous! Ahh...hmm OH YEAH- the food.

This was sort of a celebration for me (in my mind) because doing my diet/cleanse proved that I have discipline and can basically do anything. So I was going in-moderately though.
Sadly, our waiter was NOT Falcide, it was this other guy who was pretty awesome. He loved us so much he gave us all free drink tickets beacuse...we're awesome.

There were 5 of us, so we decided to order fam-lay style and just go in. -
First at the bar as I tried to recover from the 'hot dude' dry mouth I was suffering from, I decided to get some Young Tender Coconut to drink from- that is what the drink is called. You can get it with rum or not...


I opted to NOT drink my calories and eat BACON...mostly though I wanted to not have the rum because it would've resulted in me dry humping Falcide.

Honestly, I didn't take a lot of pics because I was busy eating. Here's a shot of the chicken with this delish peanut sauce. Next to it is this eggplant dip and crudite. Mmm mmm


We also had the fried okra that came with some kind of cheese. It was pretty delish...


We also ordered a bacon curry dish, some ribs, a pork belly noodle dish and the creme de la creme- 2 kinds of brisket with steam buns. OMG! That shit blew.my.mind!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The thing that blew my loins was the meat butter...which was very fittingly delivered by Falcide (who was not our waiter but just wanted to allign himself with my cooch)!!!
I have described this before-meat juices done all clarified butter style. They serve this with 'Texas' sized toast! It made me giggle, it made me cry and it (along with Falcide) made me moist. The waiter said he was going to steal my name for it: meat butter. Falcide seemed pretty impressed too...Ru noticed how I was (trying) seducing him with my eyes. Mostly, I probably looked constipated and anxious.

There was no dessert having because our greedy asses were FULL!
...well I had a certain kind of dessert in mind involving Falcide on my boooooooooooooooooody. So, I slipped him my digits- I KNOW, so bold of this punk (i.e. me), but I figure: who gives a fuck? I mean he could have no interest (i.e. bad taste) but what the hell do I care? He's hot and works around meat- I'm in.

So far no call though.- Okay, I may have put my number and NOT my name because I was that nervous. (punk ass) I also wrote that I was not slutty which may not be a selling point for some dudes.

Anywho, the aftermath of this amazing meal...



I highly reccomend that if you happen to like bed bugs, hipsters and MEAT- go to Fatty 'Cue (there is also one in the WEST VILLAGE)! The food was pretty legit and there is a waiter that looks like Alcide.

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