Thursday, March 14, 2013

The Place Where I Work: Body Party

For some reason I have decided that I want to incorporate the phrase 'body party' into a lot of my conversations.
'Body Party' would be Ciara's new single.  It will probably flop like the rest, but I will love it anyways.

I have started taking advantage of my free use of the gym at work.  It is not Equinox, but it's no Lucille Roberts either!  I get in, I watch HGTV, I sweat (a lil) and I go.  It's great.  I am just so proud that I actually go...because we know me...and I like to eat, but I don't wanna be rotund either...and I don't wanna have to diet or workout- BUT I do...but I don't wanna.  I am not one of these people who pretends that shit is awesome. It isn't.
Anywho, somehow a memo must've been sent out that I use the gym and now all these characters AKA dudes I work with just started popping up.
First there was Telemundo/Telenovela- remember him?  I had so much lust for him which grew to nothing and now is back to love...brotherly love.  Seriously, he is like a bro.  Sure he's attractive AND STILL MARRIED, but he and I get along like bro's.  We rag on each other, we cheer each other on, he motivates me to go to the gym and eat healthy AND THEN when he sees me at the gym, proceeds to make fun of me mercilessly.  It is an awesome relationship! 
He still growls and is intense, but with me he knows he just has to laugh it off and get over it-hence, why we're bro's!  If someone would've told me months ago that I would not long to slide down his man shaft and ride off into an orgasmic sunset....I would've scoffed and said: bitch you straight buggin'.
Telenovela/Telemundo is invited to my body party, but only to bring snacks.

Of course to ruin the good moments, there always has to be the creeper dude.  I'll call him CreepyPapi.  This dude irks me on the regs!  He eyes me like a juicy piece of roast fresh out the oven.  Then he pops up at the gym and continues being creepy and calls me: baby.  UGH.
He gets the cold shoulder and one word responses if I have to speak with him.  I know that if we weren't in the confines of work, he is just a walking, talking Law & Order: SVU episode waiting to happen.
CreepyPapi is NOT invited to my body party, in fact his picture will be posted saying that he should stay about 1,000ft away from my body party!!!

Lastly, there is DesignerDude.  Now DesignerDude and I have no kind of relationship.  We just say 'hi' and 'bye'.  He is massively awkward...like really.  I thought he was snobby, but I just see that he is SO AWKWARD!!!!  DD is mannerable, nice, and seemingly smart...just....awkward.  He would have killer eyes (as in stab you a few times and stuff you in a steel drum), but his awkward some how balances them out.
Normally I would not give any fucks about him, and I barely do now, but he intrigues me for some reason.  He also saw me all decked out in my gym gear and RAN HOME TO GET HIS GYM GEAR TO COME BACK AND WORKOUT.  I have no idea what to make of this because he hasn't been back since....maybe because by the time he came back, I was delirious and leaving the gym, barely able to comprehend walking much less say anything to him.
The next day in the office, he was extra awkward and turning red when speaking to me- now when we speak on the  phone, he is fine.  He is able to say sentences and say my name. 
DesignerDude is invited to my body party, but I feel it would just be us bopping our heads along to music...and not BUMPING along to the beat.

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