Wednesday, December 4, 2013

The Bone List: Dead Sexy

With the recent death of Paul Walker, I have decided to create a Bone List that involves dead men I would totally bone...when/if they were alive.  Paul would've been on my Bone List anyways, but his untimely death has inspired this list of doable spirit men.
Being respectful of the dead is a priority with me as I don't want to be haunted so there will be no help from Paula Deen or Robin Thicke to create Ghost-like moments to enhance the mood.  #Respect

Lemme start with Paul Walker....

He was always on my radar even though I only saw like one Fast and Furious movie AND I am not into blond hair and blue eyes aka that Aryan whitey-white look.  There was just something about his face though.  I also enjoyed that you would only hear about him when his movies came out, he was never out in the club snortin' coke off a Kardashian's labia or anything.  Being a fairly private person myself, I appreciated that.
...also, let's face it- dude was DREAMY.  He just reminded me of a warm Cali sunset.  Just sitting on a beach blanket sipping coconut water and talking about dolphins...that is what he makes me feel like!
Paul wasn't someone I 'sweated' on the regs but I always enjoyed him...and always enjoyed looking at him.  #RIP

Next up on this sexy souuuuulll train (literally) is Tupac....

Er'body needs a lil intelligent thug in their life and Tupac was mine.  He was charming, smart, rude, funny and one of the few actor/rappers that didn't annoy me!  He made me feel like I could sip some type of liquor from a paper bag while he read Keats to me.  I loved that he was a trouble maker and hate that he was killed by Diddy...or Suge Knight.

Um, THIS Michael Jackson....

Sure, when he was this MJ I was too young to think up sexual fantasies, but BOY did I have a crush on him.  He was about 1 or 2 nose jobs in, just had the embarrassing jherri curl and had the beautiful skin tone.  I had his stickers all on my notebooks.  I thought we could hold hands and just sip milkshakes or something...maybe throw in a Super Mario game.  A little Honey T had dreams, yo!

Finally...Mr. Paul Newman...

Granted, I only saw older Paul Newman in my youth, but I always had a thing for him.  Something deep and soulful in them eyes.  I loved how much he loved his wife and his salad dressings are legit.  He just seemed like a real stand-up guy that would make a pleasant lover if he wasn't married and I was old enough for those types of things.

*Le sigh* This list just made me and my loins really sad.

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