Thursday, December 5, 2013

The Place Where I Work: No Desk Sex!

Ah, to be humbled.
So the place where I am working now is going well so far- I already have an office crush AND I don't want to punch anyone repeatedly.  Yay.
Sadly though, my office crush and any other dude in this office is not gonna wanna dip their manhood into my feminine depths any time soon because of my company introduction.  There was an email sent out yesterday just talking about who I am and what I will be doing here-basically it read:

This is Honey T, queen of all things and master n' commander of your sexual fantasies...but in a corporate professional way.

BUT THEN they had to add a picture.
I was approached about taking a picture yesterday and promptly said: nope.  My hair was done enough for work but not for memories.  My outfit and makeup were good enough to be seen....but again, not for a company wide email!!
To compromise, I was told I could send a pic...but when I did I was told it wasn't the right type of pic- i.e. bland corporate head shot that does not allow for my 'Mariah Carey' angles or good lighting.  Needless to say I was peeved.  Peeved and having to take a pic with my hair and my outfit.
Then I see the email...with the picture...and I am just humbled by my homeliness.  Then I am saddened by the fact that no one will be having any sexual fantasies about me or will try to get fresh at the holiday party in two weeks.
My office crush will be all prepared to touch himself...and then open that email, see that picture and lose his erection...and lose his will to come into work anymore.

You may be thinking I am doing my usual overreacting/over thinking, but today people have been coming up to me and saying: you are much better looking in person.

Case closed.

Cheers to no desk sex in 2014!!

No comments:

Post a Comment