Friday, August 29, 2014

Conversations With The Little Prince: Young Love

Though Prince George has been avoiding me since my recent outburst about wanting his Uncle Harry, he gives in and Skypes with me mostly because he misses me and a little because he has life questions.

Me: Hey there Georgie!  Why so glum?

Prince George: (sighs) I am a young prince in love with an angel.

Me: Aww lil Georgie doesn't have a crush on me does he?

Prince George: (gags) Piss off!

Me: Language!  Who is this heartbreaking babe?

Prince George: (sighs) North West...her eyes make my heart want to soar like a bird through the Northern Lights...

Me: Woah...corny ass do have it bad- listen, you do KNOW who her mother is, right?

Prince George: Yes.  My mum won't let me forget.  She likes her dad, thinks he's cheeky...but my mum said there is no excuse for her mum to exist...and that she will never be allowed within these gates. (sighs)

Me: I like Kate even more!  She is secretly full of shade-

Prince George: (shakes his little fists) WHY is our love forbidden! Why are her mother's sins of being irrelevant cast upon my dear dear heart?!

Me: Lil dude, you need to calm down.  It's not like North's mom is just bad person, she is THE WORST.  She comes from a family of the most vapid, soul sucking, useless people ever!....this will be your first of many heartbreaks. You'll be okay kid.

Prince George:  I'll never understand this.  This must be what it feels like for you all the time...

Me: Well at least I don't piss myself!

Prince George: Low blow.  I am training and shall be diaper-less soon you chav!

Me: Well by then there will be some new pretty young thing catching your eye...

Prince George: (sigh) I guess you're right. Once I am not sitting in my own filth, the class of woman shall be immensely greater.

Me: We can only hope, Georgie.

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