Friday, January 23, 2015

Befuddled, Bothered, Bewildered, Bigoted...

I am really trying not to become racist, y'all.
I am strugglin'.  #StruggleLife
I mean I like joking around with my intelligently funny friends about racial absurdities...that's always fun, but the culmination of recent events has made me just about reach my LIMIT!

Besides the day to days- the hair questions/statements, assuming I am NOT (full) African- American because I am not like 'them', assuming I give a solitary fuck about Tyler Perry, hearing shit about being 'light skinned', men assuming I am a certain way because I am a curvy woman of color, etc.

Besides all that, there have been an influx of police killing unarmed Black people, basic ass White people killing unarmed Black people, Black girl actresses being called out their names for playing parts perceived to be for White girls, Iggy Azalea, men/society/fashion making it clear that they don't find Black women attractive or to be worthy of love, 12 (white) French people who worked for a basically racist/bigoted magazine being killed (which was WRONG) causing a 'war on Muslims' aka brown people with turbans (any of them), NAACP building being bombed and you hear NOTHING about it being a terrorist act because a White man bombed it, same week everyone was all 'Je Suis Charlie' 2,000 Nigerians were killed by a terrorist group but it didn't appear on the news ONCE and George Clooney did NOT have a button made, people are mad that the SELMA movie told the truth and did NOT have a White savior, All White Er'Thang Oscars, All White Er'Thang Grammy's, All White Er'thang Golden Globes, All White Er'Thang....Er'Thang, FUCK #AllLivesMatter...because they don't!, directors still casting White people as Egyptians, Native Americans, any group of historical Black/Brown people who made an impact and don't fit into a 'savage mold', etc.

As you can see there is A LOT.  Hence my struggle not to become a racist and a Black feminist- can't be a feminist because we realize that only pertains to WHITE women.
Whew.
Maybe I am leaning towards becoming a Black Panther...I dunno.  I just know I am just fed up.  Fed the fuck up and not here for a lot of shit.
Am trying not to be a walking ball of anger and aggression, but it's hard!..then I think about the wrinkles this may cause so I am trying to zen out. Maintaining awareness, doing what I can...and releasing it.

It is tough getting older and being more aware...my far away stare is less about deep thoughts about chicken, #EggplantFridays and shoes...now I am deeply contemplating so much more. *le sigh*

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