Wednesday, January 21, 2015

You Don't Know My Name...and It Feels Like Oooooooo

I have established that I enjoy getting a smoothie every now and then...an afternoon pick-me-up if you will.  I tried one as a meal and I get so violently hungry that I can't see straight!
Have since learned I am not built for that shit and need to stick to smoothies as snacks.  Anyways, a while back I went to my usual spot- Dishes (Midtown pocket raper with foods n' shit)- and as I ordered my usual smoothie, the guy behind the counter was staring at me open mouthed.
I looked behind me and saw no one.  That's when he let me know he thought I was gorgeous and that I looked like the love of his life...Alicia Keys.
Dammit!  All I wanted was a smoothie!  I thanked him and wondered if he could function enough to make my smoothie.  He said he was fine and then asked if I could play the piano.
I said 'yes'.  I lied...but not really because my parents got me a keyboard when I was younger and I could play the SHIT out of that.  I was the Sheila E. of keyboarding!- cuz I would stand and dance while I played it.  It's all about style, yo.
Anywho...I make a mental note to go to the more aggressively expensive 'Juice Generation' on days my 'admirer' is working.  As my 'admirer' is making my smoothie he is telling me how he knew I was the one when I said could play the piano...and cuz I look like Alicia...and because like all celebrities I change my hair all the time.
Woah.
So he's been watching me.  This is the FIRST time I have ever seen this dude.
I am just nodding and smiling because he is handling my smoothie.  Once he is done, I bid him adieu and am saddened at all this extra money imma have to spend just to avoid this dude (see what we have to go through!).
Then I taste that smoothie.  It was THE BEST SMOOTHIE I had ever sipped!
SHIT!
You make something delicious and it wins over creepy stalker ANY DAY!

So today I went back for my smoothie and there was my 'admirer' smiling and calling me his 'queen'. 
I do my Wednesday Addams and get me that amazing smoothie.  He is harmless and just wants to compliment me and feed me.
...plus I kinda do look like Alicia Keys, and sing like her as well. #Lies

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