Friday, January 18, 2013
A Monologue: Mark Wahlberg
Every time I see a commercial for Mark Wahlberg's new movie- I forget the name of it- I have this monologue that goes through my head of how the whole movie is going to go...which means I won't be seeing it.
It looks like he played that part in The Departed already, but I guess if it worked before...
Anyways, here is the Mark Wahlberg 'I'm A Serious Actor In A Serious Cop Movie' monologue:
"Hey...how's you're mother? I'm a cop. A good cop. What are you doing? Why are you doing it to me? ...I'm a good cop but if you come against me or my family I'll kill your wife, your kids, your dog, your spirit!...Is your mother good? Tell her I miss her.- Feel it, feel it!! (suddenly breaks out singing 'Good Vibrations')- You see, this whole situation is making me crazy. I'll kill you before you make me crazy! I'll kill your wife, your kids, your dog- I'll find you! You can't hide. See, I found you...and now you're going to die. Slow. This revenge makes me feel better...vindicated, but unfulfilled. I'm gonna quit the force. Run away with your mom. Love her tenderly-give her my vibrations...."
Now imagine he has done that scene while running around in circles waving a gun.
Now you don't need to see his new movie. I just save you $50!!!
Thank me with chicken wings and pink sparkling rose`!