Thursday, January 31, 2013

As The (Online) Dating World Turns: The Mixer

Since I have been consistently not responding to emails from dudes on the dating site I am on- not due to lewd or rude comments, but because most of the dudes who write me are dumb fucks.
Then the few I respond to, I stop responding to because I realize they are dumb fucks.  I know, I know...I am a picky bitch, but OH WELL.  Let me LIVE!
Anyways, one of my most favorite people who wants to go by Ratchet Based (Gawd), suggested we attend one of her dating sites mixers. Singles, equal parts men and women, in our age group.
 I was game...up until we were entering the cocktail lounge and I saw what was going in.....

RB and I pumped each other up though and went inside.  I checked our coats and RB got the dranks.  We then surveyed the scene.
The scene was grim.
Grim because if these were the singles in our age group then we need to change age groups.  Everyone there looked to be in their 50's!  If I was walking down the street with ANY of them dudes, someone would assume dude was LOADED...I mean cuz look at me, I am trophy material. #Self Esteem
The few guys that looked about our age were so socially inept they made me gulp down my drinks.  Drinks. This one guy came over to chat with us...mostly RB though.  It went like this:

Dude: Hey...I live in Brooklyn...I am a tech for traders....I ride my bike around Brooklyn, what do you do?

Ratchet Based (Gawd): I am a high school teacher...I live in Brooklyn....yeah...

Dude: A teacher, that's great.  I kinda do the same thing except I make money...

That is when I couldn't stop laughing.  At this point I had gulped down my drinks, and RB had asked all the dudes who rolled up to us if everyone there was OLD.  She stressed OLD.  She would ask this of the dudes who looked OLD.
This is why we are friends.
I should also note that we don't look our 'age' and are perceived to be younger.  So, we looked like COMPLETE assholes asking why everyone was so OLD??!!
That dudes comment about making money pushed me over the edge.  I couldn't be mad because I was entertained, and I couldn't be sad because I have accepted that I will be alone with all my cats.

I have more names for my cats: Jasper, Django, Ho, Sprinkles, BangBang and Sam Jackson.

In the end, RB and I laughed and decided we would attend a couple more 'mixers' because you never know...she has hope...I am just going along for the ride n' laughs.

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