Monday, June 24, 2013

Falling Off The Cliff

You know how you get up on a Monday and think: this will be a BETTER week.
You're all positive attitude AND you have on a cute outfit.  Your sun must be in Mercury because you're even running on TIME.
...then you get on the express train.  You're in your second game of Candy Crush...about to beat the level when the train stalls.  An announcement: there is a sick passenger on the train ahead of us.
You think: well they'll roll the sicko off and keep it moving. it is RUSH HOUR!!
That doesn't happen.
Another local train comes across the platform, so you leave your lovely seat and rush with about 25 other people to the local train- which is 'standing room only'.
You stand and using your agitation as fuel, you beat that level of Candy Crush.
Then the train gets even more crowded which means a piece of someones body is touching you.  You are surrounded by people and their body parts.
You wish you could explode like a Candy Crush bomb and just clear the area...but that would seem like a terrorist thought so you hold on to the 'positivity cliff' you are now dangling from- then you feel some bitches hair on your hand and you FALL!
FUCK MONDAY.  FUCK THE MTA. FUCK IT ALL.  FUCK RUNNING OUT LIVES ON CANDY CRUSH AND NOW I CAN'T PLAY FOR LIKE 30 MORE MINUTES WHICH IS FINE BECAUSE I WILL PROBABLY STILL BE ON THE TRAIN!!!!!
You realize that instead of being early/on time, you will now be late to work.  You also realize this is the week you decide to go off muffins and just have an iced coffee.
You hate when you get healthy notions and promise yourself a smoothie if you make it through the day and can then walk to the smoothie/juice spot that is in another area of Brooklyn....but it is HELLA HOT out there.

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