Thursday, June 6, 2013

The Place Where I Work: It's All In The Stars

It came up one day that Telemundo's astrological sign is Cancer.  I told him I figured that out a while ago because with moodiness and slight look of murder in his eyes.  I can also tell he is a sensitive thug.  He was quite intrigued about my 'killa Cancer' theories.  I informed him that they are NOT theories, they are FACT.
My brother is a Cancer as are a few of my friends, so I know things.

Now like any thing, astrology included, things are different for men and women.  For instance, I am a Gemini woman and we are AWESOME...well most of us.  Gemini men though...they are on some shady levels of mind fuckery to the 10th power!  You know how Gems are represented by twins, well that accounts for my moodiness and for the men (for the most part) it accounts for their DOUBLE lives.  Their the types to have a girlfriend in NYC where he works as a Starbucks barista and then a wife in Ohio where he is a car salesman.  Shit is real...but I digress.....
Telemundo is a Cancer man and Cancer men might just kill you if you push the wrong button at the wrong time.  There are times when I enjoy spending an entire Sunday afternoon watching murder mysteries and on one particular afternoon there were stories about men murdering the women they were either married to or dating.  Upon further investingating (i.e. my own) I found that most of these men were Cancers which led to me finding many things like this.  Which led to the term 'killa Cancer' (all me) ...and I mean, O.J. (Simpson) is a Cancer, so....

I believe the male Cancer kills because they can get emotionally constipated.  They have all these emotions/turmoil and then something clicks...and then they just start stabbing bitches.  Anywho, Telemundo found my explanation/description of a 'killa Cancer' to ring true.  Awww.  He then wondered why I continuously messed with him and I informed him that I know when to say when and when to soothe the sensitive thug Cancer-man.  Remember, my bro is one...which made sense why I felt all bro-like towards Telemundo. 
He then tells me his wife is a Gemini and says: that explains a lot!
I am still trying to figure out what 'a lot' is, but he does agree that I am AWESOME and that I'm okay with him...well until he suddenly murders me.

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