Friday, August 2, 2013

The Bone List: Initial Penetration

Hey y'all (doing my Paula Deen impersonation)!
Starting something new (on with the new!) a section called: The Bone List.  This is where I will list three guys I want to bone at some point in my life.  I live in reality and know that these bonings may never happen, but I am also a writer (imagination) and a classy lady so I will include the type of wedding my favorite plantation owner/celebrity chef Paula Deen would plan for us.  YAY festive!

Well you know who I have to start off with....Idris Elba.

My love for Idris knows no bounds.  Though I don't know him personally, I understand that he is EVERYTHING.  He is a MAN- no bitchassedness at all.  He has an accent!  He is older yet still DJ's- so he is refined yet fun!  Um, he is also FINE AS HELL!  Looks like he has some slammin' dick swag and that he would make me some lovely tea after lovemaking.  Awww.  Sir Elba has an open invite forever and always to my womanly treasures!!!!!!!!!!!

Paula's Wedding Vision: I see a beach wedding.  Idris and his groomsmen arrive on one slave ship and Honey T and her bridesmaids arrive on another.  They all come out lined up in chains and once Idris and Honey T become man and wife their chains will be unlocked from their bridal party and will be locked to each other.  They will be led away by my brother Bubba....


Next up is Jason Mamoa....

This man is just....he looks like he can make you laugh while he blowin' your back out- I see a devilish look in his eyes and smirk.  Devilish to me means sense of humor, but this could also mean he is a vegan with some wicked dick play.  Either way I AM ALL ABOUT THIS MAN.  I don't even dig long hair-but this guy is like Samoan which besides 'Blasian', it is the forbidden fruit I'd like to TRY! Mmm mmm mmm...

Paula's Wedding Vision:  Hmmm...what is this?  Is he Mexican?  Well, if he has his papers, I think they should choose any of the many restaurants that his family works at.  There can be pinata's and chicken.  The clean up will be easy after this fiesta!


Lastly, here's Michael B. Jordan....

He is sorta new on my vag scene.  All young, tender, eager and seems like he has some artistic dick swag.  I'm into it!!  Besides being an amazing actor, Michael seems like we would be able to hold amazing convo's after he went all deep in my feminine walls of suction and seduction.  Also, THEM LIPS!

Paula's Wedding Vision: I would let Honey T and Michael use my plantation for an outdoor wedding.  We would have them stand amongst other coloreds-ahem- Blacks and have my brother Bubba select them to breed.  It will be just like the good ole days when we selected which of them could marry n' such.  Nostalgia is a wonderful thing!  They look they would make strong babies to shuck this corn and pick these sweet potatoes....



Stay tuned for more men I want to bone!!

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