Thursday, January 9, 2014

The Place Where I Work: New Vocab

Here at the office I have co-worker (who is growing into the friendship zone-awww), I'll call her JJ, who gets me.  I get her.  We get each other and (more importantly) the JOKE.
So we have come up with names for various office characters mainly to keep ourselves entertained throughout the day.  Also so when we are talking shit about them, they don't know.  There is this one woman here we call ShelfBooty.  Yeah, that may sound sexy, but she isn't.  Her ass can hold cups, your dreams, a few pens, a copy of 'War & Peace'...it can hold many things.  She breathes heavy.  She smokes a lot.  She is nice though...and has a funny way of saying things.
One day JJ hears ShelfBooty say: I can't wait to suck down some coffee.
JJ was like: WHO says that?!
I was like ShelfBooty does...and now I DO!  I have taken to saying I am going to 'suck down' various things, just waiting for my office boo to overhear and have #thoughts.
JJ and I call my office boo Bruce- as in Bruce Wayne because he seems like he leads a double life.  He is a genuine softy, but has a bit of badass.  We also call him Brolo because he appears to workout A LOT.  Like I don't think there is ANY fat on his body- I would like to further research...but we haven't gotten there yet.
Bruce aka Brolo is kinda ditsy, but he gets it.  By 'it' I mean the joke AND possibly my honey pot...or my VAGINAL VORTEX.  Hmm.
He is like a labrador (retriever...the dog) at times- just friendly n' jolly.  He chats up everyone-but with me, we have private convos that have innuendo and involve me calling him a cornball a lot.  Aww, young love.

Anyways, here are the ways I have used 'sucked down' so far- this is starting from Monday when we first heard the term.

  • I can't wait to suck down this coffee.
  • Did you suck that coffee down?
  • I can't wait to suck down this smoothie.
  • I totally sucked down my lunch.
  • I am about to suck down these fritos.
  • I am going to suck down some drinks after work. 
Unfortunately, Bruce aka Brolo hasn't been around to hear any of this but luckily I REALLY enjoy using the term 'sucking down' because it is just so ridiculous it WORKS!  Plus anytime I can be inappropriate without people knowing I am...well that is just icing on the cake.

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