Monday, June 27, 2011
Conversations with Ice: If You Have Nothing Nice To Say....
Admittedly, I have been avoiding my homie (in my head) Ice T. Ice knows if he hangs around a Starbucks, Target, Dunkin Donuts, or pretty much any place that serves food...I'll eventually show up.
This time I was coming out of one of my favorite secret haunts, the Punjabi Deli in the East Village.
He rolls up on me like Finn would a perp on SVU...
Ice T: Yo, T!
Me: (startled, but refrain from dropping my samosas)Oh...heyyy, Ice! What's up?
Ice T: Why you avoiding me, T?
Me: Avoiding?! I would never...I've been busy...
Ice T: Right. Busy eating them delicious samosas that I enjoy!
Me: Wow. Here...(hand him a pocket of stuffed deliciousness)
Ice T: I don't want it. (crosses arms)
Me: (wave it under his nose) Iccceeee....come on, you know you want it...
Ice T: You talk a lot a mess, but you haven't said jack crap about Ice Loves Coco!
Me: (stuff a samosa in my mouth, then point to it motioning that I now can't speak)
Ice T: Wow. You just stuffed that whole thing in your mouth-you haven't done that since-
Me: Fine! It's a show. With you and Coco.
Ice T: You don't like it?
Me: It's painful. Fucking painful.
Ice T: Damn. That's cold T!
Me: Seriously, I love you guys, but this isn't showing you in your best light. It's cheesey. Predictable. Poorly written. Then you produce a song for her about fucking shoes!
Ice T: Okay, okay. We'll agree to disagree.
Me: I love the dog though! If you ever need someone to stare disapprovingly at you-I'm your girl!
Ice T: Yes, when we need a bitter bitch, I'll holla.