Sunday, April 1, 2012

I Live My Lifetime.

Sometimes I measure whether I am going to do something against past experience...and other times(most) against things I've seen on Lifetime and Law and Order: SVU.
By do something, I mean walk into certain seemingly rape-y, skin stealing, dark room situations. Or anytime I am down South and it's nighttime. There is no dark of night like that of that of the South.
One of my goals besides becoming a best selling author and sipping from a champagne bottle whilst walking along a street in Paris wearing on a chinchilla shawl and heels- is not having my life become one of those tragic Lifetime movies or an episode of SVU.
...though if they were to make a Lifetime movie about my tragic end, it would star Rosario Dawson and be called: Luck of the Draw. It will be the tragic tale of a girl so enraptured in her world of music (via headphones) and Drawsomething, that she doesn't notice the swarmy skinstealer who gets on the train and eventually kills her and takes her lovely skin. The final scene will be of my epic Drawsomething of a sandwich that will go up at MoMa.

We already know I tend to over think things, but it is who I am- the crazy part is that I truly believe that avoiding certain situations by thinking up scenes I remember from Lifetime and SVU- and dealing with the reality that there are no real Stabler, Benson or Finn's who will care enough to make sure my assailant will PAYYYYYYYYYYY for my injustice-is valid.

It's not all death and mayhem though, I plan on learning a lot from the movie turned series: The Client List. Jennifer Love Hewitt returns to give her small town friends hubby's hand jobs in the back of a nail salon! YES! I plan to learn lessons about how to keep my man SATISFIED (said with a snap in a Z formation).

This can also be added to the Reasons Why I'm Single list.

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