I will rundown what I can remember of the show. No notes were taken. This is straight off the dome (urban speak for off the top of my head):
A lot of dancing. Balloons. Meh vocals. Typical Riri performance.
Now her haircut/wig was the worst! Why didn't her people tell her she looks just like that tranny from Love & Hop Atlanta Joseline??!!!
-So Kevin Hart hosted and I like his stand-up, and what he does in films, but his' took three 8 balls of coke hosting energy' grates on my nerves. I did like that little people walked him in though.
-Hmmm, did P!nk perform at this point? Maybe. All I know is, I need whatever workout she does for her AMAZING legs. I enjoyed her performance and really always just enjoy P!nk!
-Were Katy Perry and Rihanna dates? Whatever. Chris Brown won for Best Male Performance and he was all like: ha ha, fuck you bitches with my dye job. Drake is just so lame. Like he rolls to the awards wearing G-Star and speaking for all the biracial nerds out there. Whatever Drake, you can eat a lunchbox full of dicks!
-Speaking of Drake, one of his lovers Lil Wayne- who also annoys the fuck out of me, was there looking like the dude in your highschool (if you went to public school) who can't seem to graduate-but has to leave once he turns 21. He still tries to dress all cool and acts all disinterested, but you know he cares that everybody thinks he's a fuckin' fool. No amount of performing with 2Chainz will make you any less of a dickwad Lil Wayne.
-I was REALLY looking forward to the Frank Ocean performance. This may have been the only reason why I wanted to check out the VMA's to begin with.
The performance was totally worth all the times the camera fell on Nicki MiTwat's face and Taylor Swift's 'OMG I can't believe I am here and there are no gummi bear dicks in my mouth' face.
Frank performed my favorite song - Thinkin' About You. It was moody and just a great performance...
I didn't get the Karate Kid thing, but I liked the stage setup with the bonfire. Then I couldn't reach the remote so I couldn't turn after his performance.
-GreenDay was cool. They previewed the latest Twilight movie- YESSSS!
-Alicia Key's performed. Listen, loved the haircut-I mean she looked GREAT. The song and performance I've seen a million times before from Alicia. I shut my eyes for a little bit...
-Then I hear something about Taylor Swift coming up. I took a deep breath and conjured up the spirit of my ancestors. Slowly, I stood and walked about five steps to get the remote and turned to Chopped. Whew!
All in all, the awards were as blah as my rundown...but I am SO GLAD I got to see Frank Ocean...and I am hoping Rihanna's penis dance works some kind of magic for my winter boo situation.