Friday, September 14, 2012

Weird Dreams: Weekend House Party

Please note: I did not eat anything weird, nor did I drink anything weird.  I watched an episode of Felicity (season 1) before drifting off to sleep so I don't know how THIS happened.

The dream...

I am in a very large, nicely furnished house.  It is in England.  Not sure where in England, but I am in England.  There are people everywhere.  People I know in my awake life and people I don't know at all.  There is music and food, and it is daylight.  Like Instagram on 'valeria' setting daylight.
After making out with LL Cool J -so effing random!!-I make my way through the party some more and see Kanye West sitting in an easy chair watching the tele.  He looks pissed.  As I go to see what is on the tele, I stub my toe on a low coffee table.  My middle toe.  There is blood.
Kanye looks unamused and leaves the room.
The rest of the party I am trying to stop my bleeding toe.  Various people are helping me. All have accents- and did I mention there were children at this party??  One little girl goes to give me a bandaid and tells me that Kanye is going around saying that my toe isn't hurt that badly.  He is also saying he was offended by my toe!
I get pissed.  I go storming (limping) through the party looking for Kanye to set him straight.  I find him sitting in the backyard, holding court about my toe.  I go up to him and say: Kan-ye, you can suck my toes dick and let its balls teabag your tonsils!
He then sings to me in his autotune voice (because he had a microphone): Suck my diiiiiiiiiiiccccckkkkkk

I just walk back in the house....

The End.


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