Friday, September 6, 2013

The Bone List: Just The Tip

It's about that time again y'all, where I list three more men who may never know or care but can get it!  Paula Deen had to attend a Klan meeting or something so she is not around to wedding plan (because I am so wholesome)- instead Robin Thicke has come around to set up a love scene with the special dude and I.  Sometimes it's not about the dude being 'the one', it is about sticking a finger in dat ass.

Let's begin with Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson...

Admittedly, I have my brother to thank for this crush.  My bro was into wrestling (like any young boy) and since I was older and around (because I read comic books and built rockets, no dudes were checking for me), I was the in-house babysitter.  One day while watching wrestling with him and thinking how CHEESEY it was...until The Rock came on the screen and did that tongue thing "can you smelllllll what The Rock is cooking'. At that time I didn't understand what I was 'smelling', I was a teenage girl with these warm feelings in my loins at the sight of his flicking tongue.  I didn't know what cunnilingus was!!!  I just knew The Rock was onto something and I wanted that something to be ME!
He is the perfect mix of manly, FINE and funny.  I like a guy I can laugh with who can still inifiltrate my feminine quarters with gusto!  Sometimes he works out TOO much for me, but that tongue thing would help me get over it.

Robin's 'What Rhyme's With Hug Me' Vision: Talk about ambiguous ethnic fun!  I see this going down in a club.  Thumping beats, sweaty bodies and plenty of roofie-ing...*ahem* I mean wooing.  The Rock just grabs Honey T on the dance floor.  She'll try to fight him off, but once she feel's his erection bumping against her ass, she'll just go with it.  He'll say: I know you want this.  Of course she will because they all do.  He then takes her into a bathroom stall and...if I have to tell you the rest you ain't doin' it right.

Next up, Russell Wong!

WOW!  It's like I am going down memory lane...but not really because even the Russell Wong of today CAN.GET.IT!  He first came on my vag scene (woah) when I laid eyes on him in the film New Jack City.  Then there was The Joy Luck Club...and then the TV show Vanishing Son.  I was an avid Russell Wong fan.  He seemed gentle and deep.  Also like he would protect my shit while putting that 'hi yah' all up in my jade treasure cave.  Giving me that peiking duck all up in my steam bun....
I can go on but I'll stop because I am making myself hungry (hungrier).

Robin's 'What Rhymes With Hug Me' Vision: Massage parlor.  In a Chinatown somewhere.  Honey T is on a table-she is expecting a woman because she is playing all shy with her body.  Russell comes in like a ninja, slips the sheet off that is covering her needy body.  She opens her eyes all alarmed, but Russell puts a finger on her mouth to keep her quiet.  He then slowly begins rubbing her body all the while hitting pressure points that cause her to pass out.  He then climbs on top of her, spreads her honey colored thighs and...if I need to continue, y'all better ask somebody and learn today.

Lastly and certainly not least, Colin Kirkpatrick...though that is not his last name, I think it's Kaepernick or something that should be Kirkpatrick so I can remember it....

I don't know where he came from, what he is...barely know that he plays football.  I just know from the moment I saw him on the cover of GQ I was like: who the eff is that?!
He has that certain je ne sais quois that makes me moist and willing to push aside my lack of athlete love.  We may not have much to talk about, but then again it would be hard for  him to talk if I am sitting on his face. OH SNAP!

There is also this:

Nuff said!

Robin's 'What Rhymes With Hug' Vision:  My man Colin is throwing a pool party and Honey T is dragged there by one of her well meaning friends.  To get away from all the fun, Honey T finds her way into C-man's bedroom where she begin tweeting about this wack ass pool party she and her 'prude-like' tendencies have been subjected to.  Colin comes in wearing his swim trunks and just smirks at Honey T.  She is nervous, but she knows what she wants.  He comes over to her on his bed and proceeds to hold her down, she struggles at first, but then stops when Colin pulls out his big dick.  He then....if I have to tell you the rest, then you should just go home to your 50 cats and stop breathing.

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