Monday, February 10, 2014

Was It Something I Said?

In these day leading up to commercial love day aka Valentines Day.  A day of horror, red and chocolates, I have decided to fall in line with masses who feel like lost un- neutered puppies in the wind without someone to love.  Well not that you don't have someone to love- we're not talking family and friends, we're talking someone you're boning.  Or someone you potentially want to bone.
Perhaps I would have someone to bone if I didn't always fuck it up with my mouth.  Well...what comes out of my mouth.
Consider these days leading up the OFFICIAL DAY OF ALL THINGS LOVE AND PINK like a personal therapy session.  A way to figure some shit out...with some special treats for yous.

Here are things I have said to dudes recently that have probably led to them not wanting to bone me or be my sweet sweet Valentine:

  1. You remind me of my brother.
  2. So...when did you come out to your parents?
  3. No.  Nope.  No.
  4. Why are you talking to me?
  5. The thing is my taste level is like...high.
  6. Are you on some sort of drug?
  7. No, I seriously thought you were gay though...
  8. Thing is I am not really into dating assholes...well not douchebag assholes like you, like you're cool to joke with but...seriously...
  9. How old are you?!
And there it is.  *sigh*  Am not gonna be able to settle down with this kinda negativity.  I either have to keep quiet and smize or say more positive things like: yes, please put it in me.

No comments:

Post a Comment