P.S.H.

I was having a cool weekend.  No real stakes in the Super Bowl, but I wanted the SeaHawks to win because of Richard Sherman being my favorite.  The weather was right n' tight in New York City- meaning it wasn't 9 degrees, so one could stroll after some amazing dim sum.  Friday was spent drinking a lot of soju and feeling groovy.  I was feeling good even if the floor I live on smells smokey due to TWO electrical fires happening.
Yep.
All blessings counted.  Basking in the simple things...and then I hear that Phillip Seymour Hoffman was found dead of an alleged overdose.
Sadness.
I don't when or how, but I connected with The Hoffster- the name I called him in my head because I thought we would totally be cool if we knew each other.  He was a talented actor...like beyond.  He seemed down to earth and not like a guy caught up in how great he was.
I ran into him twice.  The first time was outside of Around The Clock- this awesome diner in the East Village (well it was, it is gone now).  He was chatting with another guy.  I was gaping at him open mouthed, then I started whispering 'Hoffster...Hoffster...Hoffster..." (we know I get weird with celebs).  He and I made eye contact because I was the weirdo staring at him and whispering 'Hoffster'.  He smiled at me and nodded.  I text everyone I knew and was beside myself with happiness.
The second time was at the Waverly Diner- see both awesome food spots that Hoffster and I could have chilled at and spoken about life.  I dunno.  Maybe we both would've sat in silence, eating or sipping...and making an occasional observation.
This time I just stared at him (no whispering) until he looked up at me and we smiled n' nodded at each other.  I was experiencing the delish patty melts with m'girl Jesse, and as he walked out of the diner, he said 'goodbye' and smiled again.
And again, I was just delighted with life.  I thought maybe he remembered me as the weirdo whispering 'Hoffster' and found it endearing.  Most likely though, he was being a cool New Yorker who happened to be the most AMAZING actor and acknowledged that I knew who he was and was happy I didn't disturb his meal.
I did note as he left the diner that he needed to stop doing whatever he was on.  Just a sense that I got that shit wasn't right.

It is amazing who you connect with.  I stopped trying to understand why certain people and things appeal to me, I just go with it....but with Phillip though, I sensed a constant turmoil.  An integrity in the grit.  A moment (just one) of clarity found in humor.  He was effortless.  I connected with all of that.
I am sad for his family and sad that the demons won.

Back in the day to occupy my mind and time, I wrote this script for an amazing show (made for cable) called The Story of We and OF COURSE I put my Hoffster in it because... I just really enjoyed him.

Rest In Peace P.S.H.