Tuesday, April 6, 2010

The Place Where I Work: New Path

A great deal of my day is spent wondering how much people make. Not because I am a money hungry /status seeking twat, just because I’m fascinated by people who are completely useless and make a ton more money than I do.
In the corporate world, the less you do and the less you know, the more you make. It is an unfortunate formula, but an important one to figure out.

…so I’ve decided to give up (well consider giving up) the corporate world and delve into the world of professional bowling.
I don’t know if anyone knows this, but I am a damn good bowler. This past weekend I spent a good 20 minutes discussing my need for a bag, gloves, and shoes. If I am going to do this, I am gonna do it RIGHT.
My bowling name will be ‘Fast Balls’ or ‘Magic Wrists’. I will procure an entourage, endorsements, and male (hot, young and supple) groupies.
Basically, I’ll be the Tiger Woods of bowling-just with better taste in ho’s.

My soundbites will involve me saying how well I handle balls and how I take special pride in lubing my balls.

There will be smoke machines and a thumping hip-hop beat when I enter alleys. I’ll wear chinchilla visors-there is no sunshine in bowling alleys, but I am fashion forward, yo. Painted on jeans and high-heeled bowling shoes will complete my look.
Oh-my bowling glove will have a flame on it. My bowling ball will either be 24 karat gold or clear with Justin Beaver’s (I know that’s not his name, but I simply don’t give a hoot) head in it.

Wish me luck!

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