Thursday, April 15, 2010

Why They Cheat.

With the recent abundance of celeb marriages falling apart due to (numerous) infidelities, I have decided to take it upon myself to explain why men cheat.
Well since these are celebs I will first explain why CELEBRITY men cheat.

Are you ready for your mind to be blown?Celebrity men cheat because…THEY.CAN. Like P!nk once sang: sometimes it be’s like that.
They may not want to, they may not need to…but the vaginal openings are all lined up and ready for them…and OOPS, they just happened to fall into a few.
….and if the ‘ladies’ are missing teeth, they’ll easily fall into their mouths a few times too, but not consider that cheating.

Now getting to why REGULAR men cheat, that is a tad more complex, but I have boiled it down to this: men are just bigger boys.
Meaning they need all the attention and to be coddled, reassured and fed. If they don’t get that, they will find a homely chick that will do that for them.
Sometimes like the celebs (though), it’s just there! It being vaginal openings just there waiting…sometimes throwing themselves upon the taken shaft.
Because as much as men can be dog-like, women can be theivin’ scallywags.

I won’t say that all men cheat and we should just live with it (we being hetero women) because that is just shrugging at weakness and saying: ITS OKAY!
It is NOT okay.
God forbid, I am dating a dude and Idris Elba HAPPENS to come into my Starbucks and we proceed into the bathroom for some sleazy-yet DEEPLY satisfying bathroom sex. The said dude I’m dating would be SCARRED FOR LIFE!
…but see, I wouldn’t do that because if I were in a relationship I would respect dude enough to call right before Idris put the tip in and say: hey listen, it’s Idris Elba. I’m breaking up with you. Hollaback.
So simple, but at least I wouldn’t be CHEATING.

Men stop cheating, start growing up. Women stop sweatin’ taken men, start loving yourself a lil.

No comments:

Post a Comment