Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Beyonce Needs To Have Several Thousand Seats In Low Chairs

It needs to be REAL hard for that trick to get back up.

*breathes* I'm going to have to stop myself from trembling with anger while typing this- so excuse any typos. (I feel like my editing won't even be up to par, I am far too emotional...Drake levels)

So first my homie La sends me a text.  She wanted to make sure a FRIEND told me and not some trifling blog site.  She mentions JiggaToe (JayZ) producing some soundtrack and that his wife aka Beyotche` will be singing an Amy Winehouse song.
My breathing became irregular.
After taking a walk, I returned to my desk to see if this was some elaborate April Fool's joke- I mean cuz really??!!!
Then I read this.  Then re-read it twice.

The funny thing is, if it was just Andre3000 doing some sick 16 over the 'Back To Black' beat- I would accept n' respect that.
....but to be so blasphemous as to have that barely passed vocal training 102 leotard gyrating Illuminati princess try to sing one of Amy's classic tunes.....that's just....
I mean it's not just a classic Amy Winehouse song, it is a CLASSIC SONG in general.
The song involves REAL EMOTION, notes that aren't toneless riffs and REAL EMOTION- something a pop robot like Beyotche` just can't muster.
Lawd she tries.  Tries hard.  That's when you get songs like 'Halo' where she is walking around screaming like a banshee and my cat is wondering who let this other bitch ass cat in the house- now she's (my cat) has got to cut-a-bitch!  Put some paws on them!

Now, I will officially go on record and say that Jiggatoe aka JayZ can take his full lips and kiss my WHOLE asshole.  I let him slide for signing a contract and acting like he's married to that 2 trick pony, I let him slide with the whole 'I'm retiring, but no I am not because I needs more money to really distance myself from the camel with the fade I was n' start hanging with Gwyneth Pussyflow n' them chicks in Coldplay'...and do we not remember when Beyotche` inserted herself on one of  Justin Timberlake's amazing songs from Future/Sex/Love Sounds...and then NOBODY CARED.
I let all of that slide, but then JiggaToe totally disrespects Amy- someone he has worked with- by using nepotism to its fullest by allowing this to happen!
You know what Amy would say if JiggaToe informed her about this? *ahem* (in my best cockney accent) What are you fuckin' full of bollocks?! No! Fuck off! (then she'd take a sip of her drink and ask what they were talking about again...then she'd repeat that same sentence)

Again, I hope Amy's spirit is armed with dirty blow darts and haunts the studio where this recording is going  down.

....I have to get rid of this stress headache.

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