Thursday, April 25, 2013

LL Cool Jackass

This is about 2 weeks late because a lot is going on, but I hope LL Cool J didn't think he could come out with that wack ass song "Accidental Racist" and I wasn't going to call him a shame to the Black, human and hip hop race!!  He no longer exists in my book.

I knew when his face started looking funny and he claimed he was doing juice cleanses n' shit that things weren't good with LL.  Then he started doing that NCIS or CIS or that show that has been on forever and I don't know who is watching it!
Something wasn't right...but I wasn't going to go in on LL because...he's LL.  Some of his songs are soundtracks to prime moments in my life AND he doesn't annoy me with his acting.

Then I heard he was coming out with a new album and I thought: WHY?
I mean, he's doing TV, film- he was in that classic film Deep Blue Sea where he defies being Black by scuba diving (with no gear) in shark infested waters to find/save his pet bird.
Why does he need to do music too? Or anymore.  He is wayyyy passed his prime...and then I saw that it was an album full of collabos, which included Brad Paisley.
(record scratch) WHAT?
Title of song: Accidental Racist (3 record scratches and 5 douchebag shrugs)
Lyrics to song are....

[Verse Annotate1: Brad Paisley]
To the man that waited on me
At the Starbucks down on Main
I hope you understand
When I put on that t-shirt
The only thing I meant to say
Is I'm a Skynyrd fan

The red flag on my chest somehow is
Like the elephant in the corner of the south
And I just walked him right in the room
Just a proud rebel son with an 'ol can of worms
Lookin' like I got a lot to learn
But from my point of view

[Hook: Brad Paisley]
I'm just a white man comin' to you from the southland
Tryin' to understand what it's like not to be
I'm proud of where I'm from but not everything we've done
And it ain't like you and me can re-write history
Our generation didn't start this nation
We're still pickin' up the pieces, walkin' on eggshells, fightin' over yesterday
And caught between southern pride and southern blame

[Verse 2: Brad Paisley]
They called it Reconstruction, fixed the buildings, dried some tears
We're still siftin' through the rubble after a hundred-fifty years
I try to put myself in your shoes and that's a good place to begin
But it ain't like I can walk a mile in someone else's skin

[Hook: Brad Paisley]
Cause I'm a white man livin' in the southland
Just like you I'm more than what you see
I'm proud of where I'm from but not everything we've done
And it ain't like you and me can re-write history
Our generation didn't start this nation
And we're still paying for the mistakes
That a bunch of folks made long before we came
And caught somewhere between southern pride and southern blame

[Verse 3: LL Cool J]
Dear Mr. White Man, I wish you understood
What the world is really like when you're livin' in the hood
Just because my pants are saggin' doesn't mean I'm up to no good
You should try to get to know me, I really wish you would
Now my chains are gold but I'm still misunderstood
I wasn't there when Sherman's March turned the south into firewood
I want you to get paid but be a slave I never could
Feel like a new fangled Django, dodgin' invisible white hoods
So when I see that white cowboy hat, I'm thinkin' it's not all good
I guess we're both guilty of judgin' the cover not the book

I'd love to buy you a beer, conversate and clear the air
But I see that red flag and I think you wish I wasn't here

[Hook: Brad Paisley (w/ LL Cool J ad libs)]
I'm just a white man
(If you don't judge my do-rag)
Comin' to you from the southland
(I won't judge your red flag)

Tryin' to understand what it's like not to be
I'm proud of where I'm from
(If you don't judge my gold chains)
But not everything we've done
(I'll forget the iron chains)
It ain't like you and me can re-write history
(Can't re-write history baby)


Oh, Dixieland
(The relationship between the Mason-Dixon needs some fixin')
I hope you understand what this is all about
(Quite frankly I'm a black Yankee but I've been thinkin' about this lately)
I'm a son of the new south
(The past is the past, you feel me)
And I just want to make things right
(Let bygones be bygones)
Where all that's left is southern pride
(RIP Robert E. Lee but I've gotta thank Abraham Lincoln for freeing me, know what I mean)
It's real, it's real
It's truth


Let all that lyrical genius marinate in your MIND!
I did and it made me wanna shake shit.

Where the song isn't harmful:

  • it's about not judging a book by its cover and seeing passed stereotypical triggers
  • it begs for us to all get along
  • it has the possibility of being part of a 'Let's Travel To The South, We Won't Lynch You Black Peeps' campaign
Where the song is harmful:

  •  one shouldn't judge another by what's on the outside, but if I am in the South and I am Black (which I am) and you're White wearing shirt with the Confederate flag on it, then assume that I am going to feel real uncomfortable and going to assume you are a racist. it just bes like that.
  • with that said, the song asks that we forget the past and just let 'bygones be bygones'. REALLY?! it's hard to forget things when their repercussions are still prevalent.
  • like LL literally asks for us to forget slavery.  which is something that upsets me when anyone says that-'get over it'.  I am not saying Black people or any enslaved peoples/peoples mistreated for their looks/race/religion/gender need to walk around 'whining' about the past or using it as some type of excuse as to why you can't succeed, but um, yeah sometimes the reasons one can't succeed have to with ethnic neighborhoods given poor educational choices, and more liquor stores than parks.  then you have people anti- affirmative action, but bitch you NEED that shit.  I've been lucky with having an ETHNIC name being able to even get into interviews. it's been luck and having kick ass references, but once I get the job I really do have to work twice as hard as my White counterparts.  it sounds all 'woe is me' but it is TRUE, I live this life and I see it.  I've been lucky mostly, and I do work hard-but imagine if I didn't have to deal with BULLSHIT.  if everyday could be a Vanessa Carlton or a Lumineers song.  it is not.
  • Paisley made reference to trying to see the other point of view which I think is key, but perspective is hard for people who don't have to 'worry' about shit like not getting jobs or places to live based on their race/looks/name.  I'm not saying White peeps don't have issues, but its an altogether different set.  if you are not White...and let's say living in America, you are bombarded with the societal norm being all things White n' Christian.  White is right.  You have to know your own culture AND the predominate (White) one.  you have to fit in or you will stand out even MORE and be mistreated.  so perspective is needed-not assumptions that because I am Black,  I grew up without a dad and had to watch my mom sell her body to buy me shoes.  you need to know that we see things differently and allow me to explain why-as I will you.  am patient with ignorance for only so long.  understand that even in the 'Obama-era' that shit.is.still.really.real!  I get followed around stores, I get asked if I am mixed because I am so educated, people try to touch my hair, etc.  so understand why I get angry sometimes, don't just sweep my feelings under the rug 'get over it'. am not talking about prolonged White guilt, am just talking understanding.  
  • it does go both ways though, we can't assume that all White people are racists.  we still can't walk around saying slavery never happened or don't see me as a Black person though.  that shit is ridiculous.  I AM BLACK and there is nothing wrong with that.  when people say 'I don't see color', I get their intentions, but I WANT YOU TO SEE ME and acknowledge me as a fuckin' person who may not be like you AND I am okay...and I will try to do the same for you.  racism will be here forever and always.  as long as there are people of different races, there will be racism.  we all just have to learn to deal with it and each other better and it does NOT begin with pretending things didn't happen and that when you wear a confederate flag you've made your statement and people will act accordingly.  Go cry into your venti chai, Paisley!
This song is wack, and LL Cool J can go drown himself in a spit bucket filled with sloppy redneck dicks.  It was irresponsible and a sad ploy at money gains by trying to open himself to a country audience.
LL should go off on a spirit quest.  Dig out his old fuzzy kango and FIND HIMSELF.  Journey back to Queensbridge and sit on a rooftop...maybe get mugged...and he should drink only bottled water from the bodega.  A bodega cat will speak to him and tell him how many ways he's fucked up.
Hopefully he will get himself together and get off my DUNZO LIST!  *ahem* Eff you LL!!!

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