Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Have I Mentioned... Style Wise...

....that besides diggin' Amanda Bynes for her cray and chola style, I am loving these next few ladies I am about to list.  They inspire me style wise...I don't know what this means because I doubt I could/should/would dress like them, but as always, it is the thought that counts.
Listen, in the wake of all these tragedies, I need something to ease my mind...since I cannot emotionally eat since I am trying to have a Slutty Summer 2013 and back fat ain't cute in a tube top.

Kerry 'mutha effin' Olivia Pope' Washington!  She is (has) everything right now!  I remember when I saw her in that Chris Rock movie "I Think I Love My Wife".  Her skin tone alone is like WOAH.  Then I noticed how she rocked events- her style is flawless. 
In honor of Miguel (singer who face planted a girl in the audience with DEEZ NUTS) aka my new favorite, I give her 4 teabags with a twist of dick tip to the nose.

Miley Cyrus?- I know, you are asking yourself: has she hit her head?, is she on that MOLLY?
The answer to both is a solid 'maybe'.  I dunno.  Ever since she cut that hair and stopped singing, it's like she appeared on my radar.  Then she did a twerk video in some type of unicorn cosplay and I was sold.  It's the little things.
She gets 3 and a half teabags with the half causing a snort because nut de Miguel blocked one of her nostrils.


 Elle Varner is a great singer and all around cute chick.  I love her vibrancy and her not being ashamed of her curves.  Her body party is pretty sick.  If I could get my curly hair to be unfrizzy like hers, my life would be somewhat complete.
She gets 4 full teabags with a twist of dick tip and a shot of pre-ejac....this is getting GRAPHIC.  Woah.

OMG!  June Ambrose, how I love thee...let me count the ways.  Only a fellow Gem can rock both high and low end...and pretty much wear ANY THING and everybody loves her.  She is a stylist and pretty much a taste maker.  I adore her and can only hope that one day we can brunch and she can tell me about my life.
She gets just 4 full teabags because I cannot add anything else because Ms. Ambrose is everything...and I don't want to mess the fur.





Jennifer Lawrence's cheekbones!  Are you kidding me with Gwyneth Pussyflow??!!  She is young and like Rihanna she don't give a fifth of a fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.  She doesn't bore me and seems like she eats regular meals.  I also unintentionally have her haircut...but no one would know it because I have given up on styling my hair.
She gets 3. 7 teabags and a slight smurfing (smurfing = when one gets slapped in the face by a semi-erect penis).

Well that is all for now, hope this got your mind off your troubles...or inspired you to shower or something.





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