Thursday, October 8, 2009

The Place Where I Work: Just What I Needed

It's funny how Hell skewed my perception of life. It made me not want to work, and that meant finding a rich douchebag to support my trivial lifestyle and want to write whilst sipping thick French cocoa.
I was awoken today by a call from one of my agencies about an assignment for the day. Since my only other option was sleeping and lounging around till Bones came on, I opted to earn money.
Thank HAY-SUS I know how to prioritize because this assignment has re-taught me the value of working...earning that dollar-while not ending up on a pole or performing some type of sexual act.
I knew things would be good when off the bat I was given bottled water and offered some GOOD coffee. Then I met LI Do or Die (the LI stands for Long Island). Have you ever looked at someone and became instantly enamored?? This happens to me more times than I'd like- hence the many walls I put up to keep bitches from cutting at my tender tender heart....
....SO LI Do or Die introduces herself to me, and I like her immediately because of her VERY pink blazer and strong Long Island accent. She is sarcastic and funny...and eats cup-o-noodles at her desk. LIDOD knows she has it going on, so underneath her blazer is a thin sweater with a hint of her flat tummy showing. LIDOD is in her late 30's early 40's- do you understand how amazing she is?? I imagine us going to Dallas BBQ after work. Ordering everything 'Texas sized'. LIDOD gives me life when I start whining about a dude she'll say: did you let him know that he could put in you?
I'll blush and respond: no.
She'll roll her eyes at me and take a long drag of her cigarette (and THEY WILL let her smoke at this Dallas BBQ, eff Bloomberg) and she will say: then shut the fuck up. a man will never know anything unless YOU let him know he can put it in!
I was just content with knowing that LI Do or Die existed, but my day got better. Something about me and IT dudes, I think they can sense my inner nerd. Anyways, The Ladies Man- because he honestly spoke just like the Tim Meadows character 'the ladies man' comes into the office to follow-up on something he did yesterday. He see's me and turns his body away from me, yet he is still speaking to me. I find this fascinating! Along with the lisp and his fidgety use of his BlackBerry, it was confusing talking to him...but he was handsome, so I kept it pleasant.
Towards the end of our brief, awkward convo, he turns to face me FULL ON and says, "You are beautiful, I'm sorry, I just had to say that. You make me very nervous."
Awww. I smile and say 'thanks' n' 'oh geez'. He asks my name and says, "I won't remember that, so I'll just call you beautiful." WOW. Score 1 for THE LADIES MAN!!! Before he left for the day, he made a point to tell me how 'really beautiful' I am and I made a point not to ask him about some courvoseiur. :)

All in all, this is just what I needed to feel like me again and not some blank faced whore seeking out a rich douche. :) Win-win.


  1. Yes! I love that The Ladies Man turned away from you to talk because he was so enamored with you! Maybe you should try that with LI Do or Die!

  2. perhaps because she is starting to be annoyed by me smiling at her goofily. hahahahah!