Thursday, October 22, 2009

True Story: Recent Conversations pt 2

OMG! OMG! Sometimes I really, really LOVE New York. Here are 2 separate dialogues/NYC moments that occurred TODAY!!!

NY moment 1:

There I am, just walking down the street. Wind in hair, shades on face. Two gays are coming towards me. One is a tall Black guy with the Rihanna hair cut and the other was a shorter White guy. They are nudging each other and speaking in quick whispers as they near me. I begin getting self conscience about my lack of OUTFIT. Ugh. Just had on ripped boyfriend jeans, fringe Ugg style boots (no, no they're cute though), orange tee and a gray short leather bomber. Relaxed. What Halle (as in Berry) would wear to Kitson in LA. HA!

White Gay: You've got some pretty hair girl.
Me: (shocked) Thanks...
Black Gay: Uh hunh...(looks me up and down) you're fierce.
Me: Wow...I am...but how can you tell?
Black Gay: I can just tell. Its in the eyes.
Me: (remember I have on shades, chuckle) Awesome, thanks guys. Have a good one...
White Gay: Oh we will honey! Stay fierce!
Black Gay: Stay fierce!
Me: You too!

NY Moment 2:

Okay, now this next occurrence happened on the Q train, and is going up there as one of my favorite NYC/train moments! It begins with me getting a seat...well this dude was being a GENTLEMAN and was like hey, take my seat. He didn't think I was pregnant (whew), was just.being.nice??? WHAT?? It took me a bit to accept his seat offer- he almost physically placed me in the seat! Once I sit down (headphones on), I notice a dude standing by the door and he appears to be beat boxing. He has on NO headphones. He is miming drums. He is a White dude with a mulleted haircut...with a bang. He has on a black polo...with a popped collar. You see HOW many things are wrong with this picture. I purposely turn off my iPod to listen, wanted to see if he was any good. HE SUCKED. He sucked so much peeps were laughing. This one woman was holding her head and looking pleadingly at her friend...who in turn laughed harder. There was a Justin Timberlake look a like-he was shorter, but HOT- who turned off his iPod as well to listen. He then looked at me and this other chick and was like 'sorry' and 'what.the.fuck?'. I *hearted* the shorter JT because he apologized for his White douchebag brethren. The beat boxer just kept going, seemingly oblivious. I then text The Rabbi AKA The Darkness asking if it is HIS fault that this dude is beat boxing. The Rabbi is a good beat boxer and likes to teach...I will put him into a HEAD LOCK if he's responsible.
Then IT happened. Short and sweet, but quite possibly perfect.

The Beat Boxer: (spitting and doing the same retarded beat with his mouth, he is also bopping his head)

Random Dude On Train Who Happened To Be Black And Looked Like He Might Be Able To Kick Your Ass: (calmly) Shut the fuck up.

The Beat Boxer: (stops)