Monday, October 15, 2012

As The (Online) Dating World Turns: Real Talk

People think I'm joking when I mention me living that 'spinster realness', but I am. 
A mix of choice, poor timing and there really not being anything- anyone out there.  A lot of lame.  Dudes with no sense of humor or grammar...or they are crazed...or they look at my age and think: my gawd this chick is gonna wanna get married and have kids STAT!
First off, dude, I don't KNOW you and WHY would I wanna do anything more than date you.  Calm down.

Margo (my homie) totally opened my eyes to my BAD luck with online dating- besides me not putting forth the effort- it's my age.  Dude puts: 25-35, but he really means 20- 27.
I was like: but I look about 25.
It doesn't matter though. Aaliyah (RIP) was wrong!  Age is a lot more than a number.  It's another nail in my being an aging woman coffin.  Time to pack it up.  Start knitting and collecting new papers...OMG, I am going to sculpt people out of the newpapers (friends...lovers, perhaps) and knit them clothing!
Well there goes my the rest of my child bearing and non child bearing years. I AM ALLLLL SET.

...then I get to thinking, these dudes that aren't about my AGE for whatever reason and allow it to hold themselves back from my greatness- then fuck 'em.  Not in a good way, but in the way that allows their cocks to burn off and zombie gremlins nibble off their finger tips.

I'm not bitter though.

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