Dear Joel Kinnaman,

Actually, I was going to write this loving (lusty) letter about how you should pursue me now before you become all BIG TIME after that Robocop movie (remake) comes out.  I say was because this WAS going to happen before I found out you were dating Olivia Munn AKA THE WORST!
Seriously?!
There are so many willing, streatchable starlets to screw and you choose the one who's most annoying and has the most mileage.  Sure, I don't know her, but I can just look at her and tell within a 20 second conversation I would punch the shit out of her...or most likely I would angrily squint and just walk away.  Slowly, so that she would know I hear her asking me 'where are you going?' 'what happened?' and am choosing to not respond to her wackness.

Dude, I am judging your fine ass!  JUDGING.  It's one thing to be fucking this chick (who hasn't), but it's another to parade her around, hand holdin' n' shit.  That is laying claim.  I cannot abide such poor taste...so I must renig my would be offer of my time and vagina.
I'll just see RoboCop....and well I guess they canceled The Killing, so our love will never be and my lust will dry up and die like the crabs in your girlfriend's pleasure pit.

*sigh*

No Love Up In This Club,

Honey T