Friday, December 21, 2012

As The (Online) Dating World Turns: The Signs

I really haven't been taking this whole 'the world is going to end' thing seriously because I am more practical than crazy.  It may seem unbelievable seeing as you my blog, but yes, I am more logical and practical than the cray cray chick who likes to kick role I usually 'play'.
That may go on thee ole tombstone IF the world does end...though who's gonna be checkin' for tombstones?
Now, I believe the world will end sometime soon because Chat Swag and I actually went on a date and I didn't hate him, but will probably never see him again.
Can you even believe I took time out of my busy schedule of doing the Lumosity brain games, working, hating AND plotting various resort trips- to actually meet up with a man I was attracted to and have a DATE??!!  Chat Swag was equally attracted to me- in fact I'd say more so because...well...I am awesome AND attractive.  Luckily, I was also chill and funny, allowing my personality to flourish because I spent most of the day drinking and eating fried chicken.  That's how I calm down (#about this life).
Chat Swag planned the meet up and was on time- I was a few minutes late due to slight sluggishness and 'itis tendencies.
Guys, he was cuter than his pics and we talked for HOURS.  We're both lovable nerds who are creative and have slight recluse tendencies. Nice. 
Only problem is, dude of  a certain age but is stuck in his 20's with life shit.  Be a kid at heart, but boo we are GROWN.  Chat Swag was talking about using crates as furniture and having a mattress on the floor- no box spring.  I mention IKEA, he says that place gives him a headache and, besides, some woman will come along and kick him into gear.
Then he saw the look on my face and tried to clean that up.  He wasn't quick enough though, so I went on about him waiting for 'mommy' to come and fix his life.
Then I felt my vagina go dry and knew it was ALL too good to be true.  No HOT dude I am attracted who can discuss random Buffy the Vampire Slayer episodes off the top of his head....this dude couldn't possibly be ALL good (for me).  Had to be something.
Listen, for some women (in their 20's) a mattress on the floor is cute, but to me, it isn't.  I can't take you seriously boo and I will raise my SON (if I have one) not some dude who has a mom.
Ain't nobody got time for that.

This last week of 2012 I am going to stick to looking at dudes crotches on the train and staring at pics of various soccer players.  No more dates till 2013!- if we make it there.

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