Monday, February 22, 2010

The Place Where I Work: Denied

It has been decided that a few of us are going for drinks on Friday. I’ve been given the task of inviting a few peeps that will add more color to the already hilarious evening or tapestry (if you will) that will take place.
It’s not looking good though because the first person I mention it to (outside of the 4 of us that are going regardless) is Drake. He’s been wanting to go out for drinks so I figured he should be involved.

Me: So we’re going for drinks on Friday…

Drake: Cool. Is CloseUp going? I can’t have her there all over me if I bring my girl…(brief background: CloseUp wants Drake, but claims he wants her. Drake wants to put it in me. Drake has a girlfriend)

Me: …and now you’re not invited either.

Drake: What? Why?

Me: First off, CloseUp is (was) NEVER invited. Second, this is COWORKERS going out for a few drinks, NOT let’s all watch Drake and his girlfriend make out all night. Do that on your own time...

Drake: Hater. So, where are you guys going?

Me: You’re not going…so don’t worry about it.

Drake: Seriously?

Me: As a bikini at the Puerto Rican Day parade.

He stares at me a bit in total disbelief then pouts and walks away. Poor dude. He has a lot to learn about life. About how we’re coworkers and not friends. Also about how any invite from me outside of anything work related should be cherished and not treated as just something to do.
He’s young. He’ll learn.

I am also supposed to invite The King of Zamunda and Quinger. We’ll see how that goes. One person who WON’T be invited along with: CloseUp, Debbie Downer and a handful of skin stealers and tools, is Black Tom Cruise. That guy just annoys the holy hell out of me! Friday he made sure to ride the elevator with me on our way out. I put on my headphones which Drake thinks are dorky and I find them to be OBVIOUS because they are large headphones. Basically saying: hey, don’t talk to me.
Black Tom Cruise decides to talk to me. He taps my arm is all like: are those from 1982. (talking about my headphones)
I give him the FAKEST LAUGH IMAGINABLE and think: isn’t your permed ponytail from 1975… specifically from a Blackxpotation flick called: Run Negro, Run!
I didn’t say that though. I just fake laughed and said goodnight, making my way to Target to pick up various things... like scrap book supplies. I’m creating a personal Style Book. Do.Not.Hate-it’s a movement!

Getting back to my large headphones, I began to wonder if they are closing me off from possible subway love! I mean you hear stories (movies/TV) about people who meet on the train and fall in love. After playing around with that idea for the length of one Blur song (on the iTouch), I decided: nah, fuck it!
I come into work and this girl I’ll call Cro-Magnon Cutie- because her hairline is almost touching her eyebrows, for that sexy hooded effect, but she is still cute. Hmm.
So, Cro-Magnon Cutie proceeds to tell us a story about this guy she kept seeing on the train. They got on and then got off at the same stops. She thought he had a gf, he and the gf broke-up and after one conversation on the train…they are now dating.
HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?
Blair, B and I have been asking ourselves this all day. In REAL LIFE, when/if you get to the convo part with the dude, you then find out he steals skin/touches children/lights kittens on fire/etc. OR he and the girlfriend are still together BUT he ever so kindly wants to bone you…just once.
NEVER does it just work out like that!
If it does then CMC has just given me a vast amount of hope and I shall keep my headphones on, but no longer ice grill everyone.
Babysteps, yo.

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