Sunday, March 27, 2011

The Place Where I Work: Near, Far, Wherever You Are....

It's funny how things sneak up on ya.
...tequila doesn't sneak up on ya. No it steps up to you and punches you in the face, which happened on Friday after a few margarita's with E, S&M and S&M's boyfriend. There may still be tequila in my system...waiting...waiting to sneak up and punch me in the face!

As the week began, there I was just minding my own business thinking of ways to NOT be at work yet get paid. All the while adjusting my attitude so that I wasn't walking around being a sourpuss. No one likes a sourpuss.
Then two things- well three things happened.
First, my contact at the agency I work for emails me about Buffalo. Seems she is from there and I went to school there. This was big for many reasons- great Buffalo nostalgia AND she has been sending out my resume. She tells me I should be hearing things by the end of this upcoming week.
Then the second thing happens. Ruddy Kors starts wooing me. Calm down-I have not grown a penis- he's been wooing me job wise. I think I've made it obvious that I don't want to stay there with the way things have been going...and if I just happen to walk out they would be screwed!
Anywho, so Ruddy Kors is telling me how great I am and I am just like whatever. The SECOND I get another job, I am the eff out of there. Just a breeze and a slight lingering of my perfume. Will be a wrap!
...and thirdly, while sitting and emailing about possible jobs and Buffalo, and avoid looking into Ruddy Kors devil orbs aka eyes...I felt the emptiness that Johnny Blue Eyes has left since he wasn't in all week. JBE is about as chill as a limoncello on a summer's day on the Amalfi Coast-but even he was like EFF.THIS.PLACE! Ruddy Kors is just a ruin-er of souls and spirits.
So, there I am going awww I haven't laughed in like 3 hours where is Johnny Blue Eyes?- and he wasn't there. No one to draw dick cartoons, no one to slow grind-basically awkward air sexing during inappropriate when I am on the phone and shouldn't be laughing....
I relish my chats with E, but she lacks something called being a dude which would explain my...wait for it...crush on Johnny Blue Eyes. I was scribbling something on a post-it when I came to this epiphany, I then shrugged my shoulders and said: that explains a lot.

Now I'll have to make my own fun until I'm the eff outta there, as for matters of the heart....when I start writing poetry in Italian- worry.

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