Thursday, April 7, 2011

Rob Lowe & Latex.

Mostly my face is all like this:

...then I saw Rob Lowe on the cover of Vanity Fair and I briefly looked like this:

...because I look like Kelis and would do this in front of Mr. Lowe. HE.CAN.GET.IT!!!!
80's Rob Lowe...all young and full of dreams=no thanks. 2011 Rob Lowe...all older and full of wisdom n' maneuvers=oh hell yes!!!

AND THEN I listed my top 3 fears today and they REALLY are my fears.

1. Bed Bugs
2. Vampires (though I find them sexy, remember women of color never get to have sexy vampiric relations so my ass would just end up drained...and a bitch is ANEMIC)
3. Zombies
...a close 4. would be peeps who randomly put on latex gloves. This happened to me on a train once. You think being a germaphobe I would understand not wanting to touch ANYTHING on a train-but dude was sitting down. He creepily stared at me a while then unzipped his knapsack...and then pulled out a pair of latex gloves. I had been reading a book, which I then closed it and then texted m'girl Jesse (because we had just had dinner and I didn't want people to think SHE murdered me).

my text: um, a dude just SAT across from me and put on latex gloves.
jesse: AHHHHHHHH! GET OFF THE TRAIN NOW!!!
my text: dude, but i am like 2 stops from home! you know how long it takes for me to get home!
jesse: HE IS GOING TO KILL YOU!!!
my text: i know, but i will try my best not to be killed. if i don't text you in 20 minutes from home, he has killed me and tell my fam i love them.
jesse: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Eventually, I avert death by psyching dude out and taking a cab home- though it is a 5 minute walk from the train station to my home.
Anyways, anyone who randomly puts on latex gloves is.going.to.kill.you.

...though if Rob Lowe is into kinky latex sex play then that may be the ONLY time where murder may not be on the menu, though death by dick seems like a good way to go.
Woah.

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