Friday, September 24, 2010
Gunn's Golden Rules
Recently I read Gunn’s Golden Rules: Life’s Little Lessons for Making It Work by Tim Gunn. I read it because I enjoy Tim Gunn. You know how I can sense when a person sucks-well it works both ways, I can sense when a person it legit as well. Tim seems extremely legit and reading this book proved it. It also proved that he and I are meant to be soul mate bff’s.
Tim talks about being mostly a loner and selectively social. He tells tales of his time as a teacher, struggling artist in New York City-to being on Project Runway and how that all came about. He does it under the guise of a rule book for people who don’t think integrity is a foreign concept-along with the rules he tells behind the scenes things that will give you insight to how many people are assholes out there. I worked in fashion for a lil bit and can say that most people are jackasses-but no more than 'regular' life. When I felt myself becoming a jackass I got out!
Anywho, Tim touched on two things I am either passionate about or am working on, they are integrity and forgiveness.
I am in constant amazement at the pride people take in being meaningless and assholes- Tim can’t believe it either. Everyone wants something for nothing and think that hot looks and designer labels make you better. It’s all sickening. I don’t need to dwell on this- I think my blog dwells on my lack of love for people like this but it was good to hear someone else (besides my close people) say it. Tim notices this surge of fuckery and gets it first hand because they want to use him to get into fashion or just be famous. Tim and I both have no time for this shit which is why he digs the loner tip. I like hanging alone but thankfully have some great people I don’t mind hanging with as well. People who prove that not everyone is a jackass (Tim has those people too, but he really enjoys his own company).
Forgiveness is something I dabble in. Like I really try to forgive and forget but that shit is TOUGH, yo. I don’t walk around all bitter, but when my feelings have truly been hurt it's hard for me to be like ‘OKAYYY! (with a smile)’. Don’t get me wrong, I can let ish slide and be civil, but I never truly forgive. That shit lingers in my mind and I don’t believe in people changing much. I think agenda’s change-maybe priorities, but people truly don’t change…especially when they are schmucks.
Alas, Tim talks about his shitty relationship with his dad and how he worked hard to forgive him-and then his dad (postmortem) did something so wonderful that Tim was glad he’d come to terms with him and forgave him. His dad showed that you think you know someone-especially for the worst-but they can actually be good people, just misunderstood. This really caused me to reevaluate a lot of things and situations. It won’t be an overnight process but I am getting over myself and putting in my head that true forgiveness is freeing…and possibly better for the spirit.
One of the things Tim’s dad had a hard time with was his sexuality. For the first time Tim Gunn talks about his homosexuality…and his (possible) asexuality- I don't think he is really, he just doesn’t feel he is a sexual person and has literally had one lover in his life. He was so hurt by this lover that he could never bring himself to go there with many. I totally feel Tim on this because I too am not out there sexually- don’t get me wrong, I am a sexual person-but I am not having nearly as much sexy time as I should be. I also don’t put myself out there a lot because of the hassle, dislike of most things involving people and I’d rather just be alone than dealing with lame dudes. I make efforts-sometimes-but mostly I don’t. It’s not like cool dudes don’t like me, it’s that I am aloof or too busy liking dudes who don’t like me. Such is life.
Anyways, this book made my heart smile. I loved it and it totally reinforces that hard work and being a GOOD person can still get you far in life. I intend on continuing on this path. Also, I intend on emailing Tim Gunn to see if he’d like to meet for tea some time.