Sunday, May 15, 2011

The Place Where I Work: Choosy Lover

An offer has been made. Not the best offer, totally not worth the wanting to punch people and not being to punch them, but an offer has been made. Due to lack of want of dealing with new work surroundings AND my dreams catching fire- i.e. am on it with the whole writing thing- I feel I can make enough to live, think of the doctor's office as a job and keep it moving. Stability is one less worry...for now.
Think of it more as a dude/chick who consistently asks you out. I mean, they just show up in your bed nekkid, they constantly post something on your facebook wall, they send dick pics/clit pics, etc. They ware you the fuck down!
On the day the full time job offer was made, my head was pounding and I would've said yes to a fisting offer just to get me one step closer to some advil and perhaps some tequila. More importantly, I had no more fight in me. My fight would be for something I love, something I truly believe in- me and my writing and that people will enjoy paying for my writing.
So you just say...fine, fine- then if you're me, you freak.the.fuck.out! What the HELL did I say yes to??!! I was then only able to calm myself with the thoughts of focusing on what's important to me: writing, affording an iced coffee, reasonably priced designer shoes, etc.

Normally, it takes me a bit to say yes to a lot of things, this is why the man at the corner store asked my mom: when is she gonna get married??
Then the other day I am just walking, minding my own business and this dude tells me I should treat myself to a pedicure- CALM DOWN, I had on my moccasins so it wasn't a diss. Besides, I recently got a pedi and the hooves look more like feets, yo. Anyways, here's a dude who seemed to care- but yet I kept it moving. Mostly because most of the dudes interested in me are crazy and have few teeth.
Naturally, I am suspicious of anyone who wants me...so I say no and keep it moving. Self esteem issues much? No, just general distrust of peeps and their agendas.

Okay, what was my point? Ah, yes...I may be off my game and this may have been a bad choice accepting this offer, but for now I've got to focus on the things that keep me sane...till I have to deal with the other shit.
...another way I know I am off my game, this new temp started. Only two days a week, a dude, and I have no idea if he's straight or gay. Not that this matters, but I can usually tell- okay maybe this isn't my fault, maybe it's this metrosexual society where dudes seem to dabble or just wear a lot of jewelry. Have prided myself on my gaydar- have helped many a friend, if female- save themselves the embarrassment of a boyfriend hitting on their brother or a male- landing themselves a new boo.
Oh well, cannot be good at everything! (though most things still works)

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