Monday, March 22, 2010

My Weekend of Tough Love

Though I am a tender kitten with a sweet n’ quiet soul and big heart- I am also straight forward. If you seek advice from me, don’t expect to hear what you don't wanna hear-it doesn’t come from a cruel place, it comes from love and actually caring about you…unless I could give a fuck about you, and then I’ll happily tell you to choke on a big bag of sweaty dicks.
So when I wasn’t discussing life’s triumphs and pitfalls with peeps, I was doing other things…

Friday I was grumpy n’ tired, tired n’ grumpy so instead of sharing ‘the feeling’ with the world, I took it home and meditated through watching ‘What Not To Wear’ and going to bed a reasonable hour. I had big dreams of getting up early on Saturday and taking on the day!...
That didn’t happen. Instead, I slept till 2PM (I *heart* sleep) and ventured to Soho to price some dresses (2 weddings this summer). After elbowing/verbally abusing various peeps around Soho-because really, it is always so overcrowded with asshats and tourists- I met up with Marci in Harlem (World) for some Caribbean eats. We had amazing food and drinks at Mobay-Uptown. Our waiter was Solomon AKA the Light Skinned/Light Eyed Dream who offered to service us in many ways- woah. I was also being called Sgt. Pepper a lot because I finally procured the band jacket I have wanted for a few months! Yay for me.
We then chilled at Marci’s crib watching Bones and catching some of Mike Rowe’s dirty work. He truly is dirty, dirty because when he was told that if he didn’t wear gloves to do something, his hands would become dried and cracked, he said that that would add a whole new level to his love life. AHHHHHH!
Once we were properly chilled and did our pre-game shot (not shots), we headed to All Good Saturdays at White Slab where we got all sweaty to some hot beats. I had a great time and much to Arden’s AkA A1’s surprise-no lesbians hit on me. Though I almost kicked this Asian dude with a perm in the nuts. He was annoyingly taking pics every 5 seconds. Then he explained to me- after I elbowed him in the back- that he works for some magazine and not to sue him. I politely asked him to leave my facial area…mostly because his breath smelled like ass, old tuna and dried semen-or just what I imagine a combo of those things would smell like.
Since I didn’t get home till about 6AM- due to me sometimes just not saying (a la Cartman) ‘screw you guys, I’m going home’- all my Sunday plans got cancelled. I managed to go grocery shopping which felt like I ran a race or something. Felt real accomplished...and there was risotto involved. Mmm.

Overall, a good weekend. Truths were told and nobody got hurt.

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